Testimonies

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IN THE HAND OF THE POTTER.


Jeremiah 18:3-6

“Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make. Then the word of the Lord came to me saying, O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?, says the Lord. Look as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, o house of Israel.”

As I sit here meditating on this passage, the Holy Spirit begins to speak to me; He said, “Rick, I am the potter and you are the clay, and no one can pluck you out of my hand.” The Lord begins to replay the past 21 years of my life, of how He kept me from all of the danger that tried to destroy me. How He loved me in spite of it all, and lightened my load in the midst of my sin. What has killed and destroyed many, the Lord rescued me from it all. This is my story…

I was consumed with marijuana, sherm, and crack by the age of 15. I lied to get it, stole to get it, cheated for it, yet my soul so wanted to be free. It all began so casually with alcohol and blunts, but then a friend (or so I thought at the time) suggested that I make a little extra cash by selling crack. “Whatever you do Rick, don’t smoke it!” He warned me. So, I obliged. I began selling crack and I enjoyed the money and the attention that I received from dealing. Being high took me to another place. It altered my mind. It made me feel popular among the crowd.

One day, a friend (or so I thought at the time) suggested that we speed things up a bit by mixing our marijuana with crack. Primo is what they called it. We did it and it was okay, but shortly after that, I went for crack by itself, and boy did I enjoy it. Crack tasted good, and felt good, and I wanted it more and more. Being high on crack felt different than any other high. I felt like I could do anything, be anything, and say anything. Before I knew it, I was chasing after that high with everything that I had. I quit my job, ditched school, you name it, and I did it. I was powerless to it.

By the age of 17, I was sentenced to 1 year in jail and was in and out of jail thereafter. By the age of 25, I was back before the judge on my 3rd strike, and quite frankly, I was sick of myself. I really wanted help but I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. As I stood before the judge awaiting my sentence, the Holy Spirit began to move. He ran through the right side of my body and then the left, leaving a warm and tingling sensation throughout my entire being. I began shaking and weeping and thanking God for His mighty presence.

Rather than a three year sentence, the judge, or shall I say the Holy Spirit, sentenced me to six months of rehabilitation where I prayed, studied, and fasted on a continual basis. While in the center, the Lord completed my healing one night in my room. The Holy Spirit showed me myself fast asleep while this black ball circled my heart. The Lord then arrested the black ball and it exited my body through my right leg with great force. Thereafter, I was so on fire for the Lord. I knew that the Lord had healed and delivered me from drugs and alcohol abuse. I began witnessing to family friends and even foes; to whoever would listen. The Lord placed seasoned believers around me who nurtured and under girded me in the word of God. I was so free!!

Less than six months of being released however, I was on crack again. I remember feeling so disappointed and hurt. Not only in myself but in God. I felt like the Lord had let me down. Why couldn’t God shield me from this addiction? I thought I was healed. I didn’t realize at the time that my healing and deliverance had already taken place, but I had the responsibility of walking it out in discipline and set boundaries. And that it was up to me to make a conscious decision in my flesh to steer clear of any temptations that came along to rob me of my freedom.

So there I was, for five more years, back in my wilderness again. Stealing, robbing, and cheating to support my habit. By 2001, I had landed another 2 year sentence in prison. I wasn’t seeking the Lord wholehearted this time as I felt He was partially to blame, but boy was the Holy Spirit seeking me. I remember going to bed feeling like life was too hard to deal with; As I cried myself to sleep thinking, “For the good that I would I do not; but the evil which I would not, that I do.” (Romans 7:19). The next morning however, I awakened feeling at least 50 pounds lighter. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that there is therefore now no condemnation in Christ Jesus and that I was to go and sin no more (Romans 8:1).

I have been completely healed, delivered, and walking in victory for close to a year now. The Lord revealed to me that while I may have been marred in His hand, He never discarded me, but made me again into another vessel. Jesus has healed me, as it seems good to the potter to make. I praise and worship my Lord and Savior for his faithfulness and His Love. For whether I was in the crack house or in prison, I was yet sheltered in the Hand of the Potter.

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