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Celebrating 20 Years With FaithWriters 5

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
03/09/25
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Writing Again, Yay!

In 2021 I began regaining my confidence in writing for publication once more. After being encouraged through a sermon series at our current place of fellowship, I had a conversation with Jerry Hylton, a serving elder. The conversation we had inspired me to act. It motivated me to start writing again. I began journaling again that very evening. That week I had my first contribution to a UK based magazine I was connected to and continued writing for them until they ceased publishing in 2023.

Although I enjoyed the process of writing again to encourage my fellow brothers and sisters, it took me much longer than usual to complete each piece and get it sent off in good time for the editors to do their part before publication. Key things in this season that found me on a go-slow, were the death of my father-in-law and the knowledge of and subsequent connection with my birth father. Both were shocking to the system. Nevertheless, the shock of learning who my birth father was, somehow morphed into sadness for my husband’s loss. I went into service mode overdrive.  Afterall, that is what I understand my role, as a wife, to be--helper/ helpmeet.

I simply wanted to be there for my husband. He never before faced such a loss and I didn’t know how he would respond. On the other hand, I had lost the two closest people to me, my care-givers--my maternal grandparents.  I wanted to offer what I never had when grief visited me. However, it seemed I was carrying all the sadness for the family.

Added to that sadness I was feeling was watching my son leave his childhood without any excitement/celebration. My desire was to have that big celebration once he completed school and that would coincide with his GCSE results. Even if that was very well planned, our son completed his school years during Lockdown, so there would have been no celebrating with other loved ones. He also started Sixth Form and arrived at his 18th birthday, during Lockdown.

He became an adult during that season and due to the Covid-19 Lockdown, there was no celebration with loved ones outside the home. It felt as if nothing had changed for him. Added to that, there was the hospitalisation and subsequent diagnosis of my mother's illness which no one was expecting and I certainly was not ready to face.

I thought that was more than enough for one person to be dealing with but then the call came reporting the disappearance of my youngest sibling. I simply could not take another sad news.

I felt my body beginning to shutdown.

This time I was purposeful about the pause.

I remembered seeking God for direction, sometime before, and received rest (alongside Joshua 1:8).

I paused.

I read.

I then began reducing some of the things I was involved in; placing on the back-burner, projects I was working on and apologising for the inevitable delays in other things I had already commited to. I wanted to honour God in being a good steward of my time and energy.

Deactivating WhatsApp was key to that pause. It reduced quick access which demanded immediate responses far too often. I was then not too available to folks as I was before.

I missed being able to see and speak with my oversees relatives and old friends I had reconnected with. Yet I knew that staying on WhatsApp would continue to contribute to my mental and emotional exhaustion. So I made the leap and I have been able to then go back to what was really holding me back and finally deal with the father wound I didn’t want to deal with.

End of Part 5.

>>>Continue reading part 6 here: Celebrating 20 Years With FaithWriters (6)
>>>Back to Part 1 ~ Celebrating 20 Years With FaithWriters
>>>Back to Part 2 ~ Celebrating 20 Years With FaithWriters
>>>Back to Part 3 ~ Celebrating 20 Years With FaithWriters
>>>Back to Part 4 ~ Celebrating 20 Years With FaithWriters