Healing

Unanswered Questions Led Me Back To the Word

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
07/20/24
Free to Share
Author requests article critique

  Message Writer
  Hire Writer

Tweet

 ***This is the 7th and final part of the article series:

'Is There A Place For Anger In My Life?'***

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matt. 7:7).

What are the possible reasons behind the parents not accepting their responsibilities?

That was the question that got me stuck at grief station until I was reminded of the reason for the cross [mainly what the two thieves represent and the purpose for Christ’s death on a cross. This I'd like to discuss in a future article].

I felt it was more about me than it was about them. ‘Not good enough’; 'Not loveable'; lots of musing and ruminating; I even thought about the role my grandparents may have played in the outcome. I am now wiser. Whether right or wrong, each of them played a part (thinking they were doing what was the best thing they could do given the situation) resulting in what is now before us today.

My birth mother and father didn’t know who they were. They hadn’t the knowledge of how much they were loved by their heavenly Father and that His commands were for their own protection. To not know their worth and value, they really could not provide me with that understanding. I am so sorry that they have missed out on all the love they could have received from me and all the lessons they would have learned from parenting me (training me up in the way I should go). How different it would have been for them as well as for me.

Had they accepted the privilege of parenting me, it would have helped them better understand God’s love for themselves and teach me that God created me for a purpose. Honouring parents would therefore not have been a mystery to me.

Through interaction with my earthly father, had he been in my life teaching me about God, it would have been easier for me to understand my purpose on earth and also be connected to my heavenly Father. Nevertheless, that doesn’t disqualify me from purpose. God is still working through the chaos and sending workers into the field. It does however mean that it will take much longer to gain such knowledge/understanding. Therefore, I will have to accept the help that comes from various avenues, in the absence of parents/ carers.

God used many individuals to help me on this journey of discovery and it gives me an opportunity to employ a heart of gratitude on a daily basis. His Word told me in Psalm 27:10, that He will take me up when mother and father forsake me and that is exactly what He did through those people. That Bible verse helped me to look at the wider church as part of God’s provision, instead of focusing just on the few groups within the church, that I have experienced on a personal level. It also helped me to see the bigger picture rather than just focusing on the hurt and the pain from the abandonment.

Perspective:

Ephesians 6:10-20 helps us to understand that this is not about the individuals as they are simply pawns in the hands of the enemy. The thief (the enemy of our souls) comes only to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10a). So we aren’t wrestling with the individuals we see as the ones causing pain. We aren’t fighting with flesh and blood. Instead, we are wrestling “…against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

We must therefore, put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, we may be able to stand our ground.

Thank you for joining me on this journey through grieving the loss of a father. If you have stayed with me to this point (having read the previous parts) I pray that you’ve caught a glimpse of my heart for education and restoration in the body of Christ. I desire to see change in the church. Therefore, if you have any influence in the home or in the church please may I direct your attention to God’s Word for a fresh look at the topic of fatherhood.

My prayer is that my sharing will help you to see the need to engage in meaningful education for and/or support of our men, through biblically based men’s fellowship where our young men can be trained up / mentored in how to live life as a Godly man, husband, father and leader. Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus is a great place to begin that journey of education, if this is new to you.

May I also encourage you to find a way to put the Scriptures into practise in your places of fellowship? Doing that will fulfill the command to love not just in word but also in deed (see 1 Jn. 3:18; Jn. 13:34-35; Jn. 15:12).

James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

There are many fatherless children, like me, passing through your church building or engaging with the members of your church. Many are sitting under your leadership. You have a unique position to help them understand their worth. They are in need of the church’s input to know their true identity - who God says they are. These fatherless/motherless individuals are people of all ages, longing to experience what Malachi 4:6 highlights:

“And he will turn The hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”

We are in the age where the curse is evident. I believe we will begin to see a change in the trajectory of the family dynamic when we begin to invest in resources to empower parents and provide tools, particularly for fathers.

Our men need to be reminded that God gave them the authority to lead their families. They need the tools that will help them lead well so that they can confidently move forward as men of integrity who are present and actively involved in the lives of their family. They will then be equipped to mentor their own sons; helping them to become fully comprehensive men and the gift will continue giving to the generations to follow.

The home is the mission field. That form of training adds to the discipleship that is necessary (Matthew 28:19-20) for growth in reproducing God's image on earth.

Psalm 68:5 reminds us that God is, “A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation.” I believe that once the training is given and received by the heart, many will come to see God as their heavenly Father who created them, loves them and has been sustaining and will continue to sustain them.

As I end this series of articles, which started with the question: “Is there a place for anger in my life?” I can answer that question with a confident, “Yes!” Grief is no respecter of persons so knowing that anger is part of the grieving process, I have sat with that feeling exploring what’s beneath it and have been successfully finding and dealing with those emotions. Psalm 27:10 tells us the following:

“When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me.” That He did and I am living in the blessing of being willing to do the hard work (which is an ongoing process).

Ask, Seek and Knock

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened" (Matt. 7:7-8).

Based on Matthew 7:7, I prayed the prayer: “Show me the Father.” My prayer was answered. It wasn’t the fairy-tale ending I anticipated but a DNA paternity test gave me the certainty I needed to take the next step on the journey. My prayer was aswered.

I am indeed grateful for the Kendrick Brothers for making the Movies they do with people like me in mind. The film ‘Courageous’ opened the door to explore fatherhood, based on me being without an earthly father. The ‘Overcomer’ and ‘Show Me The Father’ opened the door to healing. God used those movies to help me see the need to release my absent father (along with the resentment I held towards him) to Him, as part of the grieving process.

I am changing.

My heart is healing.

To God be the glory!

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16).

©2024, J. S. Ramkissoon. 

Back to Part 1 ~ Is There A Place For Anger In My Life?