Christian Living

Living by Biblical Standards

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
07/19/24
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***[This is a continuation of part 5 as I release the disappointment I felt in how the church has dealt with the topic of sex over the years].*** 

“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality..."

(Gal. 5:19).

Galatians chapter five (5) encourages the believer to walk by the Spirit so that we may not gratify the flesh. It then details some of the characteristics of living by the flesh versus living by the Spirit.

 “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Gal. 5:19-21, NIV)

Hearing such Scriptures growing up, I had no understanding what they meant or that I entered this world through ‘sexual immorality.’ Therefore, in my mind, I had no reason to focus on the passage in that sense. I did, however, want to inherit God’s kingdom so I knew I wanted to be that girl who lived by the principles of the Bible. I wanted nothing to do with any of what was mentioned in that passage of the bible. Therefore, my focus was on the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 22-24):

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

Being raised in the church, I would have heard such scriptures read multiple times. I love Christ and since I had given my life to Him, I thought that no one who loved God would ever face those issues for those passions and desires were crucified with Him. I had the innocence of a child. I have since learned that I lacked understanding. It meant that I lacked wisdom when I entered adulthood and history could have easily repeated itself.

I believe being a ‘church girl’ I should not have been lacking such basic awareness let alone being a member of a church, meaning I have made the decision to follow Christ, got baptised to make that public declaration now looking to be discipled.

It is through the process of discipleship that transformation is evident. This is the purpose of the latter part of ‘The Great Comission’ as we see in Matthew 28:20, “and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

I am now aware that my birth parents were also lacking wisdom when I was conceived. They are both in need of God’s grace just like their parents were and we all are. Transformation is a necessary part of our faith journey and I believe they would have been on that path towards tranformation, if there was a process of discipleship both in their homes and in the churches they were attending prior to my conception. The story I am now telling would have been a different one.

I am now aware that I lacked the basic understanding of God’s will for my life relationally, and it is obvious that my parents entered into adulthood lacking basic understanding of life also. They too were at risk. The difference between us is that, having made the decision to follow Christ, He gave me the gift of His Holy Spirit to guide me. They, on the other hand, were both still in the darkness leaning on their own understanding. They were unaware of the consequences of the choices attached to their future self and their offspring.

Psalm 27:10 tells me that God will take me up when mother and father forsake me. That is my reality and therefore, I looked to the church to see the fulfilment of that promise.

From my experience, sex is simply not a topic that is dealt with in the church. I grew up knowing sex outside of marriage wasn’t a good thing but didn’t know why. I knew ‘marriage’ was a good thing but the concept was foreign to me. I was never educated on what it was and why it is to be honoured by all (Heb. 13:4).

I spent most of the waking hours of my life (pre and post marriage) in teaching establishments (either in school for academic education or in church for spiritual education). In school there was a structure that made it simple to progress from one year to the next. In church, I desired to have a discipleship structure that allowed me to progress from a baby Christian to a more mature believer where I would be discipled then naturally be discipling others as I am being discipled.

I had a form of discipleship but only based on what goes on in the church building (whether for divine worship or the various ministries or other events taking place). I remained a baby, spiritually but matured in church activities. Hence I was mediocre in my faith. So drifting became a natural part of my Christian walk. It was a slow drift towards non involvement in church activities.

I learned many Bible verses, Bible stories and songs but I hadn’t the knowledge of how to relate to my fellow believers, especially when there was a disagreement. We didn’t touch on the topic of relationship. We knew that sex outside of marriage was not God’s will for our lives but we didn’t know how one moves from being single to becoming married. We didn’t know what ‘courtship’ / ‘dating’ involved.

As a young adult, unaware of God’s will for my life leading up to marriage, all that was available to me was ‘dating’ by the world’s standard - anything goes (you get to make up the rules). Now looking back I want to know why I didn’t have understanding from a Christian perspective when I spent all those years in the church.

Why am I looking back? I am finding that most of the young people I had in Sunday school or youth group are leaving for college/ university, unprepared to do life. That cycle being repeated within the church is what brings on that disappointing feeling laying dormant under the anger. We have such a rich cultural heritage yet we are taking from the scraps of society, dressing it up as ‘Christian’ by adding a little bible to it and calling it ‘Christian dating’. I wondered why that is the case and I strongly believe that majority of us are simply unaware, lacking knowledge (Hosea 4:6).

The non-believer will continue to be led by the culture of the world but the church is called to a different way of life and a higher standard of living. We have a responsibility to live by God’s commands, and when we choose to ignore His commands, we will continue to suffer the consequences. He said, “…I have set before you life and death… Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live…” (Deu. 30:19).

I am currently suffering the negative consequences of my father’s immature and ungodly behaviour carried out as a young male lacking wisdom. As a young man he may not have been a believer and therefore, I cannot judge him by Biblical principles. If however, he has surrendered his life to Christ now as a grown male there is still hope of having some kind of relationship with him and my siblings at some point in the future.

There are some basic principles of the faith that would find him reaching out to me with restoration in mind. I’ve not experienced that as yet. Therefore, unless I see the fruit, my only conclusion is that he is not of the faith.

We are not called to judge him or any others outside of the faith but to simply release them to God who is just. We can, however, show them a better way of doing life by the way we live out God’s principles in our daily walk. My father may not be able to see the way I live out God’s word but I pray that the young men connected to my husband and our family will see, in practical ways, God’s love in and through our interaction and want to follow the path that Jesus led/leads.

The children brought up in the church should not be looking at the way their friends at school or college are living and desiring that way of life. They should know the truth and that will set them free (John 8:32) from comparison, envy or jealousy in desiring what the world has to offer.

The church has the answer to the problem. But in some parts of the body, our children aren’t exposed to the truth. That is a problem we must fix, starting with the education of our fathers so that they can fully operate in their leadership roles at home. This is where men’s fellowship must be intentional about bringing the Gospel to the unreached.

In this case, the unreached are those men sitting in our pews or connected to our churches who are unaware of their responsibilities and therefore, continue to perpetuate the problem. Titus 2 has the answer to this dilemma. It explains the way discipleship should be done as we are called to in Matthew 28:18-20.

 'Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”'

End of Part 6.

Continue reading Part 7 ~ Unanswered Questions Led Me Back To The Word