Grief

Disappointed In The Way The Church Avoids The Topic of Sex

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
07/19/24
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The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality…” (Gal. 5:19).

Since God designed sex, why are we, the church, not talking about it?

The world is bold in its approach towards sex. We cannot escape it. It’s present (in subtle and not so subtle ways) in almost every advertisment we see on screen or in the magazines and newspapers; on buses, buildings etc. So why are we so timid when it comes to the topic of sex?

Sex education is part of the school’s curriculum. Children are hearing from their friends on the playground. Our young adults are hearing from their peers and often being led down the path of destruction (especially with the introduction of pornography which leads them into other forms of degradation). Yet most parents sitting in our pews are unaware of their responsibilities as many church groups are silent on the matter.

Based on some of our young people’s dress code coming out of what’s in fashion based on culture; their language and tone as well as the things they are exposed to, in the media, it is fair to say that we are at crisis point. It is difficult to distinguish the children of the non-believers from those with Christian parents. Our youth are confused. They are being decieved and we sit silently watching the downfall.

The harvest is ready! It is perfect timing for us to remember who we are and that the gifts that God has blessed us with are for the edification of the church (see Eph. 4:11-12). Jesus said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

We must then teach and regularly remind Christian parents, of their god-given roles and empower them to reclaim their parental responsibility of training up their children in the way they should go (Prov. 22:6).

To do that effectively, we must first remind/re-educate ourselves on our role as the church and our responsibility to:

a) the couples anticipating marriage & parenting;

b) the married couples with or without the responsibility of parenting;

c) our singles who need to know how to steward their season of singleness and understand the purpose of marriage and why it should be honoured by all; and

d) all the parents and grandparents so that they can be effective leaders at home. (see Titus 2).

God designed sex. It is a gift to us to enjoy marriage and to keep civilisation going. It is a repetitive cycle of learning from parents and grandparents so we can teach our children values they can pass on to their offspring from one generation to the next (reproducing God’s image on earth). Therefore, it is also our responsibility to teach about sex from the pulpit and/or in small groups where those talks/sessions are regularly repeated (made available at least once per year) and accessible to the body without charge.

Where resources are limited (manpower and material) we should at the least seek assistance from Christian organisations who specialises in such education and can provide the church with resources for free or at a discounted rate.

Our places of fellowships are dying from toxic doses of sexual immorality because generation after generation we have remained silent, hoping and praying for change when God has given us authority to ‘…go make disciples.’ (Matt. 28:19-20).

The Rev. Dr. Steven Koster says, “The world talks about sex all the time, but God has the best plan for sexuality. If the church won’t talk about it, people will settle for distortions the world is selling. God designed us as sexual beings; sex was his design and plan for us…”

He also says that "Sexual intimacy requires boundaries" and that, “God places limits around sexuality to protect and draw us closer to each other.” To me, that is true freedom -- knowing the boundaries and being able to avoid going in a certain direction in the first place or knowing when you have crossed the line so you can quickly get back on track (1 Jn. 1:9). However, this generation sees that as slavery and to them, true freedom means no boundaries. 

Nevertheless, as Dr. Koster says, “Sexuality belongs within the bounds of the marriage relationship.” He goes on to say that “Our society idolizes the risk of adulterous relationships, and the taking of forbidden love.” but that “The book of Proverbs is loaded with cautions against looking for sex outside of marriage. These relationships only result in pain…”

This series of articles was birthed out of the kind of pain he speaks of because I was birthed out of the ‘forbidden love’ scenario which found my birth father in hiding for half-a-century. I pray that my sharing will help to make a difference to those who desire to know God’s will for their lives and to live that life of abundance that Christ came to give us (John 10:10b).

End of Part 5.

Continue reading Part 6 ~ Living By Biblical Standards