Healing

Releasing Resentment for Peace

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
09/02/23
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“...if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

~ 2 Chron. 7:14 ~

Three years ago, I shared a song I wrote, on Facebook. My friend Jody, shared a meme with the following message:

“Snoopy, many folks are praying for God to heal our land, but I think He’s still waiting for people to humble themselves, repent and turn from their wicked ways.”

This is what was fully recognized this morning, after reading many passages in the Bible on forgiveness. God knew what was coming. I believe He was preparing me for the battle when He deposited that song in my spirit. The song is based on 2 Chronicles 7 verse 14 so when I received the memory I replayed the video and it began to speak to me based on current circumstances.

After the year I've had, embracing 2 Chron. 7:14 was the only direction to take, in order to continue on the road towards healing.

A peek into a current situation:

Seven (7) months ago today, I learnt the truth about my identity. That revelation was an answer to a prayer I've been praying for decades. Holding my absent father hostage in my heart (though unaware) was what needed to be addressed.

I was wronged by him in the act of abandonment. He left me out in the cold without the covering I needed, giving predators many opportunities to attack and try to devour me.

Appearing into my life, after 50 years in hiding, it felt like he was trying to make a back-door entry into my life...no remorse, no apology, no compassion...Learning he was there all along, hidden in plain sight, made me angry...it seeped into every conversation I had about fatherhood, family, the home and ineffective leadership.

I couldn’t embrace the thought of ‘forgiving’ someone who was never repentant. He never apologised because he doesn’t see his wrongdoing as such. He never asked for forgiveness. Instead, the blaming game we find in Genesis was the route taken.

Based on his actions, I concluded, he has no intention of working towards reconciliation. Disappointed in not having my needs met, of having a restored father-daughter relationship, I simply sat with the grief.

My Thought Process:

Eventually, I found I was heading down the wrong path in my thought process. Then I realised that he had lived his life perfectly fine without me; having raised a family and now enjoying his retirement years. Yet, here I am living a less than fulfilled life because of him. It made me aware that I was the one being destroyed by allowing the emotions attached to anger to control me; threatening to destroy my future with crippling effects in my present.

John 10:10 tells us that the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy. Being reminded of this passage, I saw the past 50 years of his absence in a different light. I am seeing more clearly, God’s goodness in my life: His provision through others, His protection from harm; His peace throughout the chaos; and now I am experiencing His healing power.

I am now able to embrace 2 Chron. 7:14, recognising that I am included in the,‘My people’ - If My people who are called by My name, will humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways...” I am His beloved child, adopted into His family and I am given the keys to the Kingdom. Why then would I settle for the ashes (Isa. 61:3) instead of His beauty? So, I repented of my sins and asked for God’s forgiveness. Little by little the residue of resentment is being stripped away and I am simply sitting at Jesus’ feet and seeing where He leads.

Acknowledging my call:

In reading 2 Chron. 7:14, I received His word as a call to repentance. God did not call me to call my father to repentance. He called me to repentance. I wanted my father to show up throughout my childhood but he didn’t and the sad little girl grew to be a resentful woman. I wanted him to acknowledge that his absence was damaging when it was finally revealed that he was my father but he didn’t have any compassion for me.

I felt the rejection all over again and the root of bitterness grew deeper. My heart demanded justice. I was wronged and hurting but no-one was apologising and as the pain grew deeper all I heard was, “You must forgive him!”How can I forgive someone who hasn’t repented?

Time for Heart Transformation:

My grandmother had this saying: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” I now understand what she meant. My father wronged me. It was never God’s will for a father to neglect his responsibilities! Yet, my demand for justice does not make me right. I was called to love but love neither denies the pain nor demands repentance from the perpetrator. 

I am still living in and trying to clean up the mess that he created (which keeps on multiplying 50 years on). It wasn’t my fault what happened to me! I am simply the product of his moment of pleasure but it is now my responsibility to do what is necessary to foster healing.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for the faithfulness of my friend Jody, in walking with me on this journey. I want her and all who have encouraged me along this journey to know that they are loved and appreciated. Without the covering of an earthly father (which meant I also lost the guidance and the counsel of the extended family--the village) God often used friends to walk alongside me. I’ve learned many lessons through the gift of friendship. For that I am grateful.

A prayer for you:

Today, I pray that whatever you are walking through in this season of your lives, you too will know that you are not alone (Heb. 13:5). I pray that God will send His ministering angels to minister to those needs you may have. I also want to remind you that God is with you in the battle (Isa.43:2-3).

Whatever the trial, God will strengthen you and walk with you; giving you the courage to do what He calls you to do. And finally, I simply want to encourage you all to keep moving forward.

Romans 8 says that you are an overcomer. We are more than conquerors! And Jesus said,in John 16:32-33,

“A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Copyright © 2023, Janice S Ramkissoon.