Children

The Demotion of Pluto

by Terry Barlow
05/11/19
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Page 1

 Pluto, is it true what we’ve heard? That you’ve been demoted by the astronomers to a dwarf planet? Tell us it isn’t true!

“I wish I could,” replied Pluto.

“What will you do now?” asked Mercury.

“Wander? That’s what the word planet means, wanderer, and that’s what planets do, dwarves or otherwise.”

 “Well said, Pluto. We are kind of a family of nomads or wanderers, always on the move,” said Venus.

“Except I’m not in the family anymore,” said Pluto.

“Oh yes you are,” said Uranus, “doesn’t matter what those supposed experts call you, you are what you are!”

Page 2

“You’ll always be part of our planet family, your so-called demotion doesn’t change that sense of belonging,” said Neptune. Neptune and Uranus were the family members closest to Pluto in more ways than one or two.

“It’s not the size of your mass that matters and that makes you a planet in our eyes,  but the size of your heart,” said Mercury, who had a tendency to be sentimental.

“Yeah, it’s who you are at the core……your core value we could say,” said Venus who always liked to play with words.

Page 3

“For 76 years you’ve shown that you belong with us,” said earth, who was kind of the unofficial family historian. “How does that change now all of a sudden?”

 “We want this family to be a massive, growing family if anything, not a SHRINKING violet kind of family!” said Jupiter, who of all the planets knew something about what it meant to be massive. (Jupiter is two and one half times as massive as all the other planets in the solar family combined!) “Ahem…..every good family is an extending family,” he added lengthening his belt a little more.

“The family that sways together stays together,” said Mars, who was the family jester or joker.

“I thought it was the family that prays together,” said Saturn, who always had to have jokes explained to him after they were told. Saturn, being the lightest in the family, could float in water if there was ever enough of it!

Page 4

“I don’t get the IAU’s reason for demoting you out of our family,” complained Uranus.  “What’s the IAU anyway?”  asked Saturn.  “IAU stands for International Astronomical Union,,” answered Uranus and continued, “They said you hadn’t cleared your debris in the neighborhood, Pluto. And debris is just junk, or trash or mess, whichever word you prefer."

 “They’re talking about the planetesimals I guess. But I thought the planetesimal was infinitesimal, infinitesimally small. I thought they were being nitpicky.” reasoned Pluto.

“Now I remember the IAU,” said Saturn, “I think they were the ones who told my dear moon child Titan that he was bigger than Mercury and that he could have been a planet if he wasn’t orbiting around me, which kind of hurt my feelings, though I know they didn’t mean it that way.”

 “Just thinking about Titan gives me the chills,” remarked earth, “ more than 250 degrees below zero Fahrenheit there! Are you kidding me?  No comparisons,  please.”

Page 5

“As the newest member of the family,” continued Uranus, “you’ve had the least amount of time to clear your neighborhood debris, Pluto. They could give you more time to get your act together, so to speak, to mature, you know. It doesn’t seem fair! After all, most families seem to have a family member who doesn’t quite have their act together, or a family member who is the messiest of all, and they still love them.”

 “Unconditionally!” concluded Neptune, smiling. “Uranus, you always seem to put your own unique and opposite spin on things.  You come at life from a very different angle, for sure.” *

“I am so inclined, I admit,” Uranus agreed, giggling.  (* This is consistent with the fact that Uranus is the only planet in our solar system that revolves clockwise around the sun, and the fact that its tilt on its axis is 75 degrees greater than earth’s.)

Page 6

“I guess I can join that other dwarf planet I know about, and that is Eris .  She’s kind of homeless too, maybe we can help each other.” suggested Pluto.

“I never thought I’d ever see the day when one of our solar family would join the ranks of the TNO’s.” lamented Neptune.  “There’s no way you’re homeless as long as I have any say in this family!”

 “What are TNO’s?” asked Pluto.

“Just what you’re describing,” answered Neptune, “Trans-Neptunian Objects, I ought to know about such if anyone ought to know.”

Page 7

“I vote that Pluto be given more time to clear her debris!” exclaimed Saturn.

“Younger family members tend to be more messy, anyway.”

 “That may be what is commonly called an over-generalization,” replied Pluto.

“Whose side are you on anyway, Pluto? We’re trying to build a case for convincing the IAU that you deserve more time to clean your neighborhood,” said Uranus. “The more you mature the more you will conform to the rest of us and care about things like debris in the neighborhood.”

 “You already bear the family resemblance in every other way, there’s no denying it!” Observed  Venus. “For example, I wonder how many know that you have five moons of your own, Pluto? And another thing, I never understood why earthlings say that women are from Venus and men from Mars, because our whole family is more alike than different I always thought.”

 “It’s true, Venus, we have a lot in common,” agreed Mars.

Page 8

“But doesn’t every family have its own non-conformist, or member who doesn't act like the other members?” asked Pluto.  “Better to be the family non-conformist than the family scapegoat!”

 “She has a point there, the bigger the family the more likely it is that there will be a non-conformist, and, unfortunately, a scapegoat too,” the earth chimed in with her “down to earth” kind of wisdom, after a long silence.  “Sometimes,” earth continued, “they turn out to be the same family member. The scapegoat is the one who seems to always catch the blame for all that goes wrong."   And they all turned toward Pluto, as a smiling Venus said, “Now, that is really a penetrating down to earth kind of point you just made.”

Page 9

“What if there is more debris in my neighborhood than yours, does that make me any less related to you?  Once a relative, always a relative!”  Cried  Pluto in self-defense.

“Oh-Oh, another  good point.  We can't choose our relatives. She’s on a roll! In this case it’s all relative!” Venus couldn’t resist.  “And in case any of us hadn’t noticed, we’re ALL on a roll!”  Quipped  Mars,  under the immediate influence of Venus.  I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the solar family groan, but they all groaned at this.

"And I would like to add this," continued Mars, " didn't someone in human history say that the last would be first and the first last and that the least would be the greatest? I think his name began with a J-e-s," knowing full well who it was but trying to quiz his siblings for the fun of it. "Might that prediction of sorts apply to our beloved Pluto?"

 "That may be," replied Mars, "and this J-e-s person may also be behind the fact that earth's moon disappears for three days in its cycle and then reappears........hmmm."

Page 10

“Pluto, you’ve been preaching to the choir,” declared Mercury. “It’s the IAU we have to convince, and they don’t have a choir, that’s for sure!”

“Then from where did the music of the spheres ever come?”   asked  Mars,  becoming a little more distant like Venus every day.

“Hey, that’s a great idea!  Let’s SING our case for Pluto at the IAU.  They say songs appeal to a different part of the brain.”  Suggested  Mercury.

“Brilliant suggestion,” approved Neptune, “appeal to a different part of their brains and their minds, the part that isn’t already made up ahead of time!”

Page 11

Since Mercury had come up with the idea of a song by the planets, it was she who was chosen to choose a song and direct the choir. They practiced for many days, singing 50 times through it the final day until Mercury was satisfied, and they were finally approved to open the next IAU’s monthly meeting with a special song of greeting. If the song had our kind of words it would have gone something like this:

“Shalom,  my brothers, shalom, my sisters, shalom, shalom!  I give you peace and I give you love, shalom, shalom!!

 I can tell you there was hardly a dry planet eye in the place of assembly. Some tears came from crying and some from laughing, and some from both crying and laughing.

Page 12

It remains to be seen or heard though if the IAU will change its ruling and reinstate Pluto as a full-fledged planet rather than a dwarf planet. The jury is still out, you might say…….the planets are still revolving….