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The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33
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I've experienced something in the church, that should really be addressed. I've been faithful to 3 churches in my life, growing up in a baptist church and moving to a small community church, spending years at both. I'm now settled inside Evangellical free church. All these places have great communities, people willing to reach out and help. Loving faces and smiles, warm greetings.
But there is a darker side, that seems to lurk in even the closest of churches. Rumors. Judgement.
As a young man, there is a certain scrutinty that should be placed apon me, and I willingly accept and want this scrutinty. But when that scrutinty is kept within darkness, it becomes a problem.
I have tattoos,I curse, I get angry, I see a therapist. I've made my mistakes and paid for them. In the past I've drank and haven't had the clearest walk with God. But I've always remained faithful. But, can anyone in the church say they have not also struggled as I have? Just because I am not perfect, does not mean I stop striving to grow and be a better person. God holds me up, and just because there is only one set of footprints in the sand does not mean I am not with God, it simply means he must carry me for I am weak.
Pain. Everyone has experienced it in this life, for life is cruel. I have experienced more pain than I have ever wanted but I do not blame God for this pain. I strive to fight through it, yet tears come easy. But I am afraid to turn to the church with this pain. Why? Because of the judgement.
Recently I've felt scruitinized. But not in a positive way.
It's kept behind my back and I hear the whispers. The dark looks when I walk among the congregation. I don't hide my tattoos, I wear dark clothing. I am who I am and it's on my sleeve. I am not afraid to show who I am.
There are times where things have been said about me that as less than savory, and it's left at that.
I am, obviously, an open book. If anyone in the church were to come up to me and ask about what's been going on in my life, or to ask about the rumors they here about me, I would willingly discuss these matters.
The problem is, this doesn't happen.
We're called to be fishers of men, to be supportive and understanding.
To love as God loves. Why do I not feel this? There is a problem in the church.
Lack of bravery. Worry of offending someone.
Bring it to the light! Let God walk, use your faith.
If the person you confront cannot handle it, their faith is weak. But you will sow the seed.
We are not meant to do all of the work alone, but in order for God's body to move, we too must move.
Where is your faith? God will handle all if you offer it to him.
I pray, God takes my life when I am too weak to Give it up.
I simply want to grow as a man, to be the husband one day that God inspires me to be.
I want to be scrutinized. I want to be confronted.
I want to be asked.
I want to be loved and show love.
I want to be faithful and see faith.
I want to live in grace, with grace.
I love those who hurt me. I love those who whisper.
I want to see it.
I want this in the light.
I want to be better.
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28 Jun 2017
Brilliantly said, Matthew! Well done!
27 Jun 2017
In life we all have these struggles with everyone in or out of church. As for the church members, some claim to know Jesus but really don't if they did they would realize that love is one of the greatest commandments and he is the judge not man. Keep up the good work and let God deal with these people. Maybe you should find a new town and a new church...
27 Jun 2017
Great revealing post Matthew. Those who feel judged by God will judge others. Most Christians live under a mix of the Old and New Covenant. They think God is still judging them so they judge others. Most do not understand they are no longer under the law but under grace, even though they claim they do. We are not under a mixture of law and grace. Law and grace contradict each other. If you are under law you are not under grace. If you are under grace you are not under law. The other thing to consider is that satan will play on your own fears and wants you to think others are judging you when they are really not. For the most part, people are to self involved to spend much time judging others. From experience a third option could be that you are projecting your own judgment onto others and thus feel judged. In other words, if you feel like God is still judging you, you will be inclined to judge others and satan will do whatever he can to make you think they are judging you. In the end if they are judging you, so what. If your faith is in Jesus, He has qualified you. You are righteous, holy, sanctified and perfected solely because of what Jesus did on the cross for you. Now seek out someone you think might have the same issue as yourself and help them overcome it. Study up on the New Covenant in the book of Hebrews. I have a bunch of studies on it in my profile Google -Michael Edwards FaithWriters.
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