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The Bottomless Pit Part 2

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
09/05/15
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Approximately five minutes into the journey, approaching a bend in the road, I was blinded by the bright lights of an oncoming vehicle. The driver of the taxi I was in swerved to avoid a collision. Next, I heard a loud "Bang!" I went headway towards the windscreen, the car lifted off the ground. People were screaming. Blood was everywhere. Everyone escaped the car which was about to plunge headway down a precipice, but I was trapped in the back.

Both my legs were trapped under the back seat of the car. In swerving from the oncoming vehicle, the car banged into and dented the metal guardrail which, thankfully, was in place to prevent vehicles from going over the precipice. The back of the car went up in the air and the back seat somehow disconnected from its base. Upon landing, my feet were trapped under the seat. I couldn't escape.

It was a very frightening experience. I remembered screaming for help, wondering where that young man was and why he wasn't helping me to escape. Yes, I most definitely was numbered among the 'fools' referred to in the previous Bible verse (Psalm 107:17).

What happened next was both the most scary as well as the most enlightening encounter I had ever experienced then on my spiritual journey.

The Encounter

I was descending into total darkness. It was a bottomless pit. Realising what was taking place, I cried, "Jesus, save me!" A hand reached down and snatched me from the darkness. I knew then, for sure, the reality of hell and the power of God. Grace and mercy collided that night. And angels were despatched to catch my falling soul.

Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other (Psalm 85:1).

After the Encounter:

I don't know how long I was unconscious but upon gaining consciousness, I heard a voice I recognised, saying, "Janice yuh dead!" Then I heard someone saying, “Quick! Go, call Grace and Bertie.” They were sending for my Aunt and her husband to come and take me to the hospital. When I opened my eyes, I was laying on the ground with a crowd of people around me. I don't know how I got out of the car or how damaged the car was. The journey to the hospital was also a blur.

What my memory recalled next was being placed in a wheelchair at the hospital. While waiting to be seen by a doctor, I saw the extent of the damage done to the other passengers as they passed by. Some were on stretchers. Their groaning got louder and louder. To block out the noise I started to wonder about my spiritual position.

I was in that taxi with the man I was engaged to, who really was not prepared for marriage nor did he have any intention of marrying anyone at that point in his life. He didn't honour God in the way he lived his life. He was controlling, obsessive and very abusive. What was I doing in such a relationship?

I've asked myself that question many times and I couldn't understand first of all why bullies were attracted to me and secondly, why I couldn't just walk away from abusive relationships. In recent years I have been able to recognise the connection between the two--the lack of parental connection.

Parental connection

The answer was to be found rooted in the problem— 'lack of parental connection'. That may not be the case for you but it was and still is for me. Not many people understand the lasting and damaging effects of not growing up with one’s own parents. Therefore, not everyone reading will agree.

However, I longed to feel loved. I needed validation. I wanted to know I was valued. When someone showed an interest in me or made time for me, that kind of attention made me feel special, loved and valued. For that reason, I would try my very best to ignore their negative behaviour and elevate the positive. 

If the negative outweighed the positive, and it was detrimental to the relationship I would always do everything within my power to try and help such a one understand that their actions hurt. I would also try to help them to make adjustments (if they allowed me) and so I would wait to see that change.

I knew the pain of not having a father in my life and a mother who had to leave me (with my grandparents to find employment). I didn't want to leave people I had become familiar with or connected to because I didn't want to inflict such pain. Unfortunately, I just didn't have the gift of discernment to recognise when individuals had only their best interest at heart.

Continues in part 3: The Bottomless Pit—Part 3 (Dealing with the sin in my life)Link: http://www.faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=179695