Christian Living

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Last week Tuesday, God revealed to me that the time had come for me to close the door to my past and move forward into the bright future He has already prepared for me.


I already knew I needed to move forward. I had already done that physically but mentally, I was still trapped in the past. My mind was slowly being transformed.


In our group, we have been looking at 'The Beatitudes' found in Matthew chapter five. Last week we were looking at verse 7 which states, "God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy." We had a discussion which led to Luke 13:10-17 where Jesus healed a crippled woman on the Sabbath.


Sue, our ministry leader, made a connection between the woman Jesus healed and the ox and donkey He spoke of in verse 15. That connection was freedom.


"...Don't you untie your ox or your donkey from their stalls on the Sabbath and lead them out for water? Wasn't it necessary for me, even on the Sabbath day, to free this dear woman from the bondage in which Satan has held her for eighteen years?"


At that point, I saw two open doors. I was walking away from the one that had a cloud of darkness overshadowing it (viewed by turning my head around--not my whole body). I could no longer see anything or anyone through those doors.


However, looking in the direction my body was facing, was the other door. From within, a bright light shun. At that point I knew that I needed to make a decision to continue moving forward. I could see that inside, the table was already spread with fruits of many colours and a feast ready to be enjoyed.


I shared it with the group and I received prayers for clarity and the boldness to close the door behind me and step into the light in order to enjoy the feast that God has prepared for me.


The door with the cloud of darkness over it represented my past. The pain I felt and the hurt I carried from parental neglect as well as its byproduct--failure in ministry, the numbness I felt from the deaths of my loved ones and the painful scenes of broken relationships. Chained to that past, being reminded of hurt, shame and guilt meant that I was withering. It did me no good to reside there. I was walking towards the light, I recognised as my current place of fellowship.


Was it a coincidence that God chose that particular day to reveal this to me? I think not! On that very day we would have been celebrating the 1st birthday of the baby we lost most recently.


The month of January also brought with it the first time I would not need to go looking for a birthday card for my father (since finding him)--normally, I would celebrate in one way or another, his birthday. He died last year. This month also brought the 2nd anniversary of the death of my youngest aunt who was like a big sister.


I wasn't feeling 'on top of the world' this time last week. I dreaded going to ministry group that day. But I was determined not to let my feelings control me. I wanted to stay in the will of God for my life. He said in Hebrews 10:25 not to forsake the coming together, so I pushed against my feelings and went to fellowship with the saints. I was indeed blessed.


If I should analyse each month of the year, I would find that it is quite similar to the one I just described. To keep the door of my painful past open, simply meant that I would continue to have little moments of joy and an overwhelming period of sadness as each year progresses.


The Bible says, "...taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!" (Psalm 34:8) That's exactly what my family and I have done. In April 2013 we visited Limbury Baptist Church. We had a taste of God's goodness and we kept going back for more. In September we were received into membership with a public acknowledgment the following month.


Over the past year, as I watched the saints in action, received various forms of encouragement from the pulpit and from individuals, received long awaited confirmations and saw many years of prayers answered, I saw God at work, I felt His unconditional love and I knew all would be well.


I was getting prepared to take the next step. I just needed to keep moving forward and allow the light to consume me, bringing healing and releasing me once more into active service.


The various activities and events that took place over that year kept me busy focusing on His goodness towards me that my pain started to disappear and the joy within was ignited. I was ready to learn the discipline of becoming more Christlike.


As I close the door behind me, I now, with this revelation, rededicate my life and my gifts to the Lord so He can use me as He will for the furtherance of His Kingdom. Truly, the joy of the Lord is my strength. For me, this is an example that, "They that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength..." (Isa. 40:31).


Magnify the Lord, I tell my soul as I make Psalm 103 my song of praise. I will not forget the good things...forgiveness, healing...


"The LORD gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly...The LORD is merciful and gracious; he is slow to get angry and full of unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever...The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust...His salvation extends to the children's children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!"


I am about to take the next step on the journey. If you pray, please remember me and my family also.


God bless you as you continue on your journey.



Your sister in Christ,
Janice S Ramkissoon.
20th January 2015.

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