Fiction

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Date: May 24, 2014

I saw them; they were standing at the end of the boardwalk. We had just gotten there and all I wanted to run into her arms! But instead, with self-controlled experience, or not, I walked determinedly, hoping I didn’t look too eager, toward her. My family had seen them and could almost read me like a book. I hope they didn’t see the wild emotions running across my face, but I think they did. As I saw them, just standing there, I wondered if this gathering had been prearranged.
I knew exactly what I wanted to do and say. But I wasn’t sure what her response would be. It had been almost three years, after all. As I neared, she glanced our way.
Then her eyes met mine and my eyes began to fill. She opened her arms wide, and I really didn’t know what to do! It had been so long and I guess, I just didn’t know what I had wanted or even what to expect! But this was too much. I felt the tears coursing down my cheeks, knowing where I wanted to go. But, my lags were directing me the other way around. I saw Grace go toward her instead.

But they didn’t embrace.

I felt relieved and saddened at the same time. I saw them talking quietly; I wanted to know if my sister was talking about me. That thought warmed my heart; as well as embarrassed me. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so many emotions whirling around in a very, very long time. As I stood to the side a few feet away from her, it hit me.
I had imagined where, when and how, I just didn’t realize how emotional I would truly be. I felt myself slowly moving in the direction where she stood again, talking to Grace. As I got even closer, she reached into her bag and pulled out the notebook and an envelope.

And I knew it was time.

Our eyes met and she gave me a sympathetic and apologetic look. I wondered if Hannah had talked with her. I was soon, just mere inches away from her warm embrace. I then was there, feeling like we had gone back in time, almost three years ago. But it was real, almost too real. We talked for only about five minutes. Then Mr. Davidson said they should be going. As he, Daniel and Faith started to walk back down the boardwalk; I did something I’ll not ever regret!
I impulsively flung myself back into her embrace. She seemed to understand, just like old times and squeezed me tight! I tried to remember this moment so I wouldn’t ever forget it! Then she whispered to me, that the letter should answer the rest of my questions and feelings over the years of her absence. I truly hoped it would! All those years before had seemed so hard. But I hoped it would answer all the questions, thoughts and feelings I had experienced in those years gone by.

When I got home, I went to my room and blared, You Are Being Loved by Steven Curtis Chapman. And then opened my letter, hoping I had some idea what the contents of the letter would be.

I didn’t!

I started to cry – again, after the first paragraph. I tried to tell myself it was okay, that these were the tears I had held in for nearly three years. But I was at war, there seemed to be raging inside me. And I didn’t know what to think. I thought, or my mind told me, that if these tears had needed to be released, they would have been gone long ago. When I had finally stopped crying and had read the pink notebook. As well as the three paged letter and saw the gift, I felt completely exhausted!
But having that time with her on the boardwalk, and now reading the notebook again. And having these letters, for the days ahead, I felt that I could finally move forward. No matter what, even if I saw them again, I felt that I could handle it right. Or hoped with all my heart I would!

Even though I didn’t do what I so wanted to do!
… At the boardwalk!

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