Devotionals

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“I’m a very private person” he said to me once, and he was right. I knew what he did, but not why he did it. When I was little he took me to his office, but he showed no interest in explaining to me the passion he had for his work. In my teenage years he taught me to golf, but even on the golf course he remained a mystery. In my twenties I realized I had never heard "I love you” from him, though he finally said it when I forced the issue. When he died only then did I grapple with my anger toward him and accept the fact I had chosen not to pursue a better relationship with him.

One brief conversation I had with him years ago stands in contrast to all the rest. As we sat across from each other in a little booth in a run-down cafe, he described in detail an event from his boyhood. His family was in a car crash, and his sister, who had been sitting on their mother’s lap, was ejected from the car and killed. For a brief moment I could feel what he was feeling. Then he slipped back into that very private place.

None of us choose where we are born, who we are born to, what other people do to us, and so many of the events in our lives. These things are thrust upon us, and we deal with them the best we can, sometimes very well, other times not well at all. While he was a good man in many ways, I've forgiven my father for what he wasn't, for what he couldn't be. As you think about the people in your life, is there unforgiveness lodged in a corner of your heart? Will you let it go?

Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. –Psalm 51:10

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