Poetry

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Bethesda, Jerusalem

Broken man

Miracle pool

38 years

Saviour

Question

Curveball

Vertigo

“Do you want to get well?”

Dumbass query to a cripple

Or heart of the matter?

Imploding core of our humanity

Black hole?

Or escape velocity?

YES or NO?

Pivot

“What do you want?”

No simple question

No easy answer

To walk…

To live…

I speak from experience

From anorexic ghostlands

Wasted plains

And days of fogged despair

Still covet the ragged souvenirs

A sighing music boxA chest of broken memories

Of tears

Pivot

“Do you want to get well?”

And leave behind those haunting, twisted melodies

That comfort

Become

Define you

Fear blooms watercolour dark

Subtract my brokeness and what is left?

Panic screams

-1+1=zero

Better not to play the hero

Stay wrapped in velvet knowns

For Satan smiles sweetly

To keep us in his death cloak

To pin us where he wants us

Can I really change?

Do I really want to?

The demons scratch their doubts

Infect mind

With futility

While world lurches drunkenly

You’ve sucked at this teat too long

Grown frail on poisoned milk

Too late to wean

In the promised land

With the

Golden

Alien

Confident

Truth is:

Change costs dearly

You’ve got to want it

Really

And walk it

Daily

If you screw up, get up.

Again

And again

And again

Pivot

“Do you want to get well?”

Answer carefully

It’s no cosmetic surgery

Or road for the faint

Or sighing saint

Someone once said to gain your life you must first lose it

Who was it?

O yes

Bethesda

Broken man

Miracle pool

Saviour

Question

Curveball

Pivot

And now

I stand at the crossroads

Again

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