Christian Living

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Is it wrong to marry a younger woman who is better off financially
than you are? There are many female models who earn more than their
husbands. Same with female doctors or attorneys.

The days of the wife staying home while the husband worked all day are
almost gone. The nuclear family has been destroyed by many forces and
especially the government's promotion of the feminist movement. They
figured out a long time ago how to bring in more tax money, namely, by
getting women out of the house and into the work force. This started
happening during WW2.

Inflation also has helped destroy the family and marriage. Divorce was
lowest when the U.S. Dollar was stable and prices of goods and
services were not rising. Then it only took one person, the husband,
to earn enough income to support his family. Normally in a growing
economy where the GNP or GDP increases, a nation grows wealthier and
every family gets a larger piece of the national pie. Standards of
living increase.

Things have changed in America.

Now the middle class is under attack by our government as corporatism or economic fascism takes hold of our nation. Soon there will be only the rich and the poor. This is the globalist goal to promote an egalitarianism where the majority of peoples are poor and enslaved to the super rich elite which rule over everybody else.

I believe it's part of Satan's plan to destroy the family and marriage by having couples so consumed with how to make ends meet that
they do not give themselves to prayer, Bible study, meditation, evangelizing the lost and other things pertaining to the Lord's work.
It seems the average American spends their time watching mindless TV, or reading worthless books and magazines while their children play
video games, listen to stupid music from their favorite idols or attend some film at their local theater.

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these
things (which the gentiles seek) will be added unto you." Matthew
6:33

Families are the norm but singles can also serve the Lord until such a
time as the Lord brings that person together with their Adam or Eve.
There's no need to get stressed over such matters.

People use to get married much younger than they do now. I think
people matured faster because their lives were shorter and they were
brought up in a culture than saw things differently than today. Now
days getting married too young may not be such a wise idea. If you're
22-25 you're probably just out of college and haven't much life
experience. You have your whole life ahead of you.


Today, I know very few Christian husbands whose wife doesn't work.
This wasn't always the case. Inflation has made it practically a
necessity for both husband and wife to work. There are exceptions of course.

I remember attending a certain church back around 1999 where the minister's wife worked at Universal studios, if I recall, or some other entertainment company and she earned substantially more than her preacher husband who was shepherding a very small congregation.

At first I thought this was out of order but let us remember that a husband and wife are a team. They share their money and assets. The only requirement is that they both contribute to the household and the wife must know that the husband is the head of the household even if she earns more money. Now this is something most women do not easily agree to, afterall, the one who earns the most money is seen in our secular society as the one wielding the most power or authority. Not so in God's eyes. The husband is the head and even if he should lose
his low income job because of illness, layoff, whatever reason....God requires the wife to trust in God's provision. That provision may mean the wife has to work while the husband takes care of the children until the wife comes home and the husband can then go out and take care of business and certain errands.

I knew a friend whose wife was a nurse and earned substantially more than he did. They had twin boys. During the day my friend would watch the twins while his wife worked at the hospital. When she came home he was free to leave the house and do his business. As far as I know this marriage has worked out okay. It's not ideal but that's just the way life is sometimes. It's not ideal. It's what it is.

One of my problems as I look back on on life is that I've been too idealistic and not practical enough.


Reality is what it is and sometimes we must must live in terms of that reality and not make excuses for staying single because of a lack of money or because a man's pride will not allow him to marry a woman who earns more than he does. This attitude can result from pride and not humility. God chooses the foolish things to confound the wise.

Consider this fact. If people waited until they accumulated enough money before they got married, some people would never have married during the Great Depression of the 1930's and your
grandparents would never had been born. This means your parents and you would never had been born.

Interesting observation isn't it?

Perhaps in 2004, I should have stayed in Hollywood taking care of my mother. My business would have earned just as much money regardless of location. I would have both more money and my mother had I not moved but I decided to move at the nudging of a friend named Ken who said my mother deserved to live in a home. I also prayed to God to see if it was His will. Both the realtor and loan officers agreed that I qualified. I moved and enjoyed my home from 2004-2011 or about 7 years. Then I got smart and stopped paying those bankster crooks who, along with Alan Greenspan, helped create the housing bubble and sent the wrong signal to Americans that they should buy an overpriced
house.

Now there are over 3 million homeowners without a home who were lied to by the powers that be because of market manipulation which gives false signals to the economy and citizens. It would have been better to have bought precious metals. Look what happened to them in relation to the U.S. Dollar and what happened to the housing market.

The Dollar index went from 120 to it's current level of about 79.
Housing topped and collapsed in 2006 while the metals exploded.

Back to my thoughts on marriage. I've always thought of the possibility of marrying a younger woman who had more money than me but I never seriously thought it would happen. I kept waiting and waiting until I got rich enough to afford marriage. This wasn't wise.

How much money do you need to feel secure about the future? We are suppose to walk by faith and not by sight right?

Now I see God's ways are not my ways. I would have chosen to be
wealthy and let my wife depend upon me after all men are suppose to be the bread earners right? Normally, yes.

How many women earn more money than their husbands in this current economy? Many and more and more as men lose their jobs. It's a strange phenomena but its reality. Marriage goes on regardless and when two people love and commit to one another and God is in the midst of their thoughts then who can speak against it?

There are romantic marriages and pragmatic marriages. As far as I know the pragmatic ones tend to last longer.

The romantic love of today between a couple who dates is a Hollywood fantasy and is totally unbiblical. Ofcourse there have been many romantic marriages that worked out. My grandparents and aunt and uncles marriages testify to this fact but marriage must be based on more than physical attraction and romantic love.

I think a fair question to ask is "How will being with this person for the rest of my life (until death dissolves the marriage) help me serve and honor God better?"

Can I live more faithfully single or married? Will my partner be a help or a hindrance in my service to God?

This question probably doesn't get a fair hearing before a couple gets married. It seems God, our creator and redeemer, gets put on the back burner as it were when we contemplate this most serious matter. If in singleness God is considered the most important person in our life why does it seem God becomes less important when married?

I've met so many married couples who were seemingly serving God before they got married but years after their marriage these same people if not divorced seem so far from God. How sad. How tragic.

Perhaps this is one of many reasons for my remaining single for so long.

I sometimes feel a bit like Solomon in that I too have loved many women. This wasn't one of Solomon's strengths to be sure but it was an insight the Bible reveals to us about this man.
I certainly don't have his money, or his wisdom or his parental advantage but I think if I did I too would have made the same choice to marry many women. However, this would be contrary to the law of God for the New Testament believer. This sounds so bizzare I know but God allowed it under the Old Testament. I wonder if I have just a little of his blood in me. Do any other men feel the same way or is it just me?

Dating is something that is not wise for the most part. True, many couples have engaged in casual dating, got serious and eventually got married and things worked out fine. However, I've found that dating allows two people to become emotionally bonded where there should not be such an emotional bond.

Courtship is more in keeping with God's view of opposite sex relationships. I recall reading about Bill Gothard's bit of wisdom years ago how that a father is like an umbrella of protection over his daughter. The father gives his daughter away in marriage to the man he thinks best for his daughter's welfare and happiness.

Today most women move out from under their father's home and authority as soon as possible and this opens up all sorts of temptations and
evil situations. Guys are allowed to come over and there's often a party atmosphere that is unwholesome and down right sinful when viewed from
a Biblcal
perspective. Things you would not do at home with your parents around
you can now do without their knowledge. But let us remember this:
"The
eyes of the LORD are every place, beholding the evil and the good."
Proverbs 15:3

Now how does one find their life long marriage partner? Good
question. If I knew that I would have been married long ago I
suppose.

Consider these environments: the local church, the high school or
college you attended, your work place, weddings. I think we'd all
agree that these are healthy and normal places to find a potential
spouse. But God is not limited to these is he?

I've heard of couples finding their soul mate at the grocery store(even though you are suppose to be shopping for food not a husband or wife) parties, sporting events, the beach. Oh the beach is a wonderful place for a guy to get to know a woman's mind. Dances and singles bars? Again not too conducive to getting that brainy one you always desired for an intellectual challenge. Try the library instead.

Okay, suppose your local church has no singles suitable for your age? Then what? Suppose you made it through high school and college studying your heart out and having a wonderful education but never finding a potential mate? You're self-employed and not in a regular 9-5 corporate environment where Christians
are present. Now what? The only weddings you attend are with unsaved relatives. You are not likely to find that godly man or woman there are you?


There are always those online dating services but I advise against them for practical reasons I will not get into. Yes, they've brought some people together but at what cost? How those marriages will work out in the long run is difficult to tell. Like any kind of dating you tend to fudge on the
truth. I mean what guy in his right mind is going to broadcast what an unpunctual slob he is or if you are a female will you tell every guy you spend 1-2 hours in front of the mirror before going out into public? Will you tell every guy you own 50 pair of shoes because you're given to fashion? (no doubt most of which you never wear) I doubt it.

Online dating allows you to put up the most attractive photos of
yourself and to detail all your good qualities without ever being
honest with others because that would make you less attractive and the whole idea of online dating is to make yourself desirable so you can get together with that person you desire to
meet. This whole things is rather selfish and foolish if you ask me.

Matchmaking is costly but I've heard this is how couples met in the past. Parents would invite a respectable man over that they wanted their daughter to meet. They either clicked or didn't given a reasonable prospect of time. If the daughter wasn't interested there's no forcing of a courtship by the father.
wasn't interested. Forced marriages are not proper if the daugher is
not willing
to be courted by her father's recommendation.

Let me end my thoughts today with a few quotes:


I love the quote by hymn writer John Newton: "Marriage is indeed a
pleasurable part of life when there is mutual affection, the consent
of friends, a reasonable prospect as to settlement and when it is done
in the fear and subordination to the will of God but when any of these
concomitants are lacking then that which we call love is the most
tormenting passion that can be named and the most destructive in its
consequences."

Richard Steele: Loving Each Other. This is both the husband's (Col.
3:19) and the wife's duty (Tit. 2:4). Love is the great reason and
comfort of marriage. This love is not merely romance, but genuine and
constant affection and care for each other "fervently with a pure
heart" (1 Pet. 1:22). Marital love cannot be based on beauty or
wealth, for these are passing, and not even on piety, for that may
decay. It must be based upon God's command which never changes. The
marriage vow obliges "for better or for worse," and married persons
ought to consider their own spouses the best in the world for them.
Marital love must be durable, lasting even after death has severed the
bond (Prov. 31:12). This true-hearted love brings true content and
comfort in its train. It guards against adultery and jealousy. It
prevents or lessens family trouble. Without it, the marriage is like a
bone out of joint. There is pain until it is restored.

Matthew Henry: (Note) that the woman was made of a rib out of the
side of Adam; not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out
of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and
near his heart to be loved.

Thomas Hooker: The man whose heart is endeared to the woman he
loves...dreams of her in the night, hath her in his eye and
apprehension when he awakes, museth on her as he sits at the table,
walks with her when he travels...She lies in his bosom, and his heart
trusts in her, which forceth all to confess that the stream of his
affection, like a mighty current, runs with full tide and strength.


Robert Bolton: Let thy choice be in the Lord"¦1 Cor. Vii. 39. Let
piety be the first mover of thine affection, the prime and principle
consideration in this greatest affair"¦ Religion or the fear of God,
as it is generally the foundation of all human felicity, so must it
specially be accounted the ground of all comfort and bliss, which man
and wife desire to find in the enjoying of each other.


Richard Baxter: It is a mercy to have a faithful friend that loveth
you entirely"¦to whom you may open your mind and communicate your
affairs"¦And it is a mercy to have so near a friend to be a helper to
your soul and"¦ to stir up in you the grace of God.


Thomas Adams: As God by creation made two of one, so again by
marriage He made one of two.


Thomas Gouge: A mutual duty between spouses is the provident care of
one another´s souls. If a believing husband, or wife, is married to an
unbeliever, they ought to use all the means they can to win the other.
And if either of you shall be a means of the conversion of the other,
how entirely will it knit your affections one to another. If both
husband and wife are in a state of grace, they should be watchful one
over the other, as to prevent sin in one another, so to redress it the
best way they can when either of them are fallen into sin, by
seasonable admonition, yes, and correction also. Here the husband and
wife should more respect the mutual good of one another, than fear the
giving of offence. And it is likewise a special duty incumbent upon
husband and wife to help the growth of grace in each other, as by a
frequent conferring together of good things, especially of what they
hear in the public ministry of the word, so likewise in constant
performing of family duties, especially prayer.


Thomas Gataker: There is no society more near, more entire, more
needful, more kindly, more delightful, more comfortable, more
constant, more continual, than the society of man and wife, the main
root, source, and original of all other societies.


Thomas Gataker: A good wife being...
The best Companion in Wealth;
The fittest and readiest Assistant in worke;
The greatest comfort in crosses and griefes;...
And the greatest Grace and Honour that can be, to him that hath her.


Thomas Adams: There is no such fountain of comfort on earth, as marriage.


Richard Baxter: It is a mercy to have a faithful friend that loveth
you entirely...to whom you may open your mind and communicate your
affairs...And it is a mercy to have so near a friend to be a helper to
your soul and...to stir up in you the grace of God.


John Downame: God the first Institutor of marriage, gave the wife
unto the husband, to bee, not his servant, but his helper, counsellor
and comforter.




"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what
fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion
hath light with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4

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