Christian Living

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A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift. A friendship is something we treasure, for our friendship is a gift.

A friend is someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy, and grace. And makes the whole world we live in, a better and happier place.

Friends - Jean Kyler McManus

I chose to include this poem as the beginning of this post, again, to detail the importance of a true friendship. If you spend a little time within the words of this poem, you’ll see that the writer was detailing a friend as a gift; someone that should bring more in your life than they take out of it. The poet states that, “A friend is someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy and grace. And makes the whole world we live in, a better and happier place. “

Now over the past two weeks, I’ve examined what a true friend should mean to us; what they should bring in to our lives. This person should be of a reassuring spirit; someone who could balance you out when things become overwhelming for you (not create more drama within the situation). So now that we’ve spent time uncovering the meaning of a true/close friend, and we’ve worked on our own personal lists of who fits within the realm of a true/close friend, let’s now reveal what the Living Word says about friendships.

QUALITY FRIENDS WILL HELP US AND ENCOURAGE US…

“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.” Romans 12:9-10

This passage exposes a true love and expresses that we should do what is necessary to fulfill the needs of our close friends. We should be devoted to these individuals in a brotherly type of commitment. When you show appreciation and admiration for one another, you’re putting them first. That same assurance should be displayed in how they treat and interact with your as well. Now do you understand how important it is to define your true, close friends? Can you imagine giving this type of attention to all of your “friends”?

(Additional support: Ephesians 4:2; Exodus 33:11; Hebrews 10:24-25)

DISCRETION IN THE CHOICE OF FRIENDS IS IMPORTANT…

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God…” 1 Corinthians 15:33-34

Whether by mouth or by actions, unhealthy friendships are corrupting, negative influences. Sometimes, you may wonder why you haven’t received something you’ve prayed so hard for. Well, God is a gracious god…He wants us to have the desires of our heart (according to His purpose), so the reason could partly be that the company we keep are holding us back from the GREATNESS God has bestowed upon us. Though you may have faith in His abilities, those who are ignorant of God’s mercy, may be blessing-blocking you.

(Additional support: Psalm 1:1; Proverbs 1:10; Proverbs 23:20)

HOW TO MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES (prayer for wisdom is essential)…

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

Whenever someone wants to make “positive” changes within their live, they generally look at the changes they could SEEK IMMEDIATE results from (generally, these would be physical alterations); dieting, dating (or not dating), changing their hair color or wardrobe, etc. As we’ve found, this doesn’t work…there is no immediate gratification. Anything worth working for is going to take time (alcoholism, poor eating habits, smoking, and RELATIONSHIPS). If you don’t take the time and put in the work, you will end up in the same situation you’re trying to alleviate.

A good friend shared this with me in an email he sent to me on August 9, 2006: You can’t solve the problems that are created, with the same thinking that created the problems (not sure who the original quote belongs to, but kudos to the person that shared it).

Instead of seeking immediate gratification; the surface issues, which will lead to disappointments, go below the surface and find the deep rooted issues, that would lead to permanent gratification; our surroundings, environment, attitudes, perceptions, spiritual life, associations, etc. By doing this, we’re not pointing the finger at any one thing or person in particular; we are accepting responsibility for the choices we have made along the way, and committing ourselves to the necessary changes; and in doing all of this, PRAY.

Now, this type of change generally takes longer because it may involve digging up some old, deep roots. But as any gardener may tell you, once you’ve done the leg work and dug up the deep roots and weeds, your flowers (blessings) will have room to cultivate and mature.

(Additional support: Psalm 25:4-5; Jeremiah 10:23; James 3:17)

IN CLOSING…

Over the next few weeks, I encourage everyone to take time…some serious meditation time, and evaluate the “CLOSE” relationships that you want to carry into the New Year. This would be a perfect opportunity to discover the individuals who will make the cut; those who support you through thick and thin, those who will help you realize your potential, those who will tell you the truth (NO, we don’t look good in everything that we put on), those who love you unconditionally, those who will be right by your side and support your growth (not talk about you to others, saying she/he thinks they’re all that), and those who will make you smile when you feel you have nothing to smile about. Who will those people be for you?

Remember, we can do bad all by ourselves, we don’t need anyone helping us out with that. Or we can do GREAT things with true, “CLOSE” friends who deserve to come along for the ride. Trust me, aligning your life according to God’s purpose, will take the unnecessary weight off of your chest.

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. ~ George Washington

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