Apologetics

---

Why Don't They Want Me To Get Well
They Refuse To Let Me Get Well

As I lay across the bed in my usual position, I wonder about my life as it is now. I ask myself why don't they want me to get well? It seems as though for some strange reason everybody is working to keep me sick. I sat up for about an hour yesterday trying to type on the computer; my rib cage hurt so bad. I rubbed some biofreeze on it twice to no avail. My knees hurts. My shoulders hurt. The left shoulder hurts worse than the right. I think that I have used the right shoulder so much in lieu of the left shoulder that now I have damaged the right shoulder also. I was on the bus coming from Baton Rouge on Friday and was woke up out of my sleep with pain in the right shoulder. Now for three and a half years the left shoulder has always hurt. The surgery did not work. My left knee always hurt and the joint in it slips, my knee goes to the back of my leg and I falls. I have used my right side of my body so much now that the right knee hurts also. Why don't they approve for me to see the Doctors and let them do what they have to so that I can get well?

I gave 27 years of service to the state of Louisiana and you would think that I just came out of nowhere. The State insurance carrier will not approve my medical treatments like they should. I loved my job and miss it dearly. I had to move out of town to deal with not being able to go to work. People work with disabilities all the time, but I am too much of a liability. So why won't they fix me? Why do they want me to stay sick? Why don't they want me to get well?

I remember my sixth grade teacher Ms. Hannah Cox use to punish everybody when one person got into trouble. I would ask her why everybody is being punished for something one person did. She would always tell me "Margery you are going to learn in life that the good have to suffer for the bad". This statement has been going through my mind for three years now. I feel like I am being treated unfair because of what others have done. I am really sick. I hurt everyday. I feel some of the pain I am having could have been avoided.

I hit the left side of my head at the temple.
I hurt and aggravated my already injured back and neck previously hurt at work on 01/19/90.
I fell on the front parts of my body, my rib cage area still hurts especially when I am on the computer in a sitting up position.
Both of my knees hurt, the left side hurts and swells more since I fell on it once on the front and once on the left side parts also.
Both of my hands and wrists hurts, fingers included.
My feet hurts, especially my left foot and ankle.
My left shoulder and shoulder blade hurts.
My right shoulder is hurting more these days.
My whole body is messed up and the scars is nothing comparing to the pain I feel each and everyday.
Walking is a problem, the left knee swells rather
I sit, stand, or walk. It don't need a reason.

The position I lay in to type this is lying down on my stomach. This lying down position has become my position for life it seems since I get no relief for my pains since I fell on February 12, 2007. I think it is a shame considering all the time I gave to the State in my 27 years of service. My whole heart was poured into my work. When I was there I got the job done.

I don't understand why I am being treated so bad when all I wanted to do was get well and return to my job. I begged them to fix me but the insurance provider refused and my job ended up letting me go. I don't like being on disability retirement. My mind is still functioning. My body could have been fixed, but now I fear it is too late. Why all of the games, tell me what's really going on.

I feel that they don't want me well. They refuse to let me get well. Houston is a great big City but what good would it do me if I can't walk around in it? I have never done anything in my life that is so worthy of this mistreatment. I have never hurt anybody in my whole life that I should be made to suffer these afflictions. But God, he will recompense my pain and suffering.

Suicide is not an option, but has the Devil tried to attack my mind with it; yes. Life is more precious to me so why would I want to die?
If I live or die it is in Christ Jesus. God said I had to come back my work was not done so there it is. So many people is going through these days and many are committing suicide. Many kill themselves and their whole families. Murder or Self Murder is not an option. If you take your own life how can you ever be forgiven? You can't! To try and hurt someone else because of your pain is not an option, thou shall not kill. People wake up and think about who it is that cause all of these afflictions and why he wants you out of the world. Satan is a defeated foe. No matter what you go through in this world its not as great as you think. And this too it shall pass. Hold on to God, make the best of your situation. Be open to receive from God what you need. Recognize your mistakes and know the difference in what you are going through and who it is that is allowing you to go through this.

God is able to bring you out no matter how bleak things look in the natural. Its a reason why they do not want me to get well. Its a reason why they refuse to let me get well. Take it and make it.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE