People

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Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.

-Benjamin Disraeli

To say that most people enjoy talking about themselves would be a gross understatement. The truth is, all kinds of people find great delight in talking about themselves, their interests, their dreams, their plans, etc. American author Dale Carnegie, in his best-selling book How to Win Friends and Influence People, stated that people always crave genuine appreciation from a sympathetic audience.

I didn't have to look very far to see Carnegie's philosophy materialize before my eyes. The kids in my neighborhood regularly get together to share stories about their dolls and action figures, favorite cartoon characters, the new pets their parents bought them, and the thrilling experience of riding a bike for the first time.

I've attended a number of seminars and workshops that cater mostly to professionals, and I've learned that professionals are no different from children. The concert pianist who graduated from a conservatory school likes to talk about Beethoven and Chopin. The sports journalist is mainly interested in famous athletes. The prolific author fascinates everyone with accounts of her poetry reading sessions in London. The renowned local artist would patiently explain the inspiration behind his portraits.

You'd think that famous or prominent individuals have had more than enough attention from the adoring public. The truth is, no one has felt important or sufficient enough to refuse a listening ear. People are immensely flattered when you take time to sit with them in a warm environment of camaraderie and good will. I will be bold enough to go a step further and say that sharing what you treasure most in your heart is a lot pleasurable than winning a difficult argument.

I seek out conversations. I find it extremely enriching to learn about the lifestyles of people who normally don't function around my social circle. Oftentimes our society tells us to cultivate relationships only with people who share our goals, values, and interests. But in my opinion, doing so would mean missing out on many opportunities for personal growth. I've noticed that my perspective has been widened and my horizons broadened just by associating with many different individuals. As an example, my sister and I have a common friend – a chemical engineer – who once shared with me the nitty-gritty details of her job. She told me that laboratory work requires speed and accuracy. I realized that as an artist, I could never be quick and accurate at the same time. To be able to draw the perfect picture, you need to be willing to make a series of mistakes first. That's why the youngest accomplished artists are already nearing their forties. Yet I'd probably never think about how different I was from my friend had I not let her talk to me about her job.

Over the years I've read a lot of those teen magazines that claim they can teach young girls to relate properly with members of the opposite sex. They come up with a set of rules regarding what to wear and how to act. But in reality, it all boils down to this: Guys will be drawn to girls with whom they can exchange ideas regarding topics they enjoy. It has been said that guys aren't naturally talkative, but mention the game their favorite team won or the latest album release of the rock band they like, and you'd think they were suddenly bestowed with the gift of gab. Yes, guys enjoy talking about themselves. Who doesn't?

Wanting to talk about ourselves is not self-centeredness – it's simply human nature. One would be better off in the social arena if he'd be considerate enough to ask other people what they're interested in. To dig deeply and patiently into a person's heart yields priceless treasures and can lead to the journey of self-discovery. To put it simply, we become better individuals by sharing what makes us tick.

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