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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Endurance (03/22/04)

TITLE: And Another Thing . . .
By Dori Knight
03/22/04

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And another thing, I had to run the littles to karate after a quick trip to the market, and a brief detour to the drive-through for burgers and cokes that were, invariably, knocked over onto the floor of the van, soaking the papers that I needed to bring to the insurance company, after I dropped off the dry cleaning which, Lord have mercy, I forgot at the house with the dog that needs to be brought to the vet for his shots.

Okay, times up. Pencils down. If you've failed to follow me thus far, you are not ready for full time motherhood. Take two aspirin and call Dr. Dobson in the morning. Then practice balancing the checkbook while helping with math homework, clipping little fingernails and putting on your make up. Yes, it can be done. There is always "another thing" that can be done. It just takes practice.

One day you will join the ranks of the amazing wives and mothers who make this country run. I'm not talking about day time television divas who have a staff of fifty doing all the real work behind the scenes, either. I'm talking about real women. I'm talking about the kind of women who could jar their own jelly, bake their own bread, and weave their own toilet paper if they weren't so blessed busy standing in line at the grocery store.

Yours will be a ministry of service, and though your brain may fall out along the way, do not be dismayed. Your children do not believe you have one anyway. They simply require you to sign your name on the dotted line, drive them to the nearest social function, and/or fork over large amounts of cash.

Your life will begin to resemble one long, run-on sentence of "other things" that need be washed, cooked, driven, paid for, cleaned, polished or put away. Do not attempt to get it all done in one day. If you do this, your family will only demand more of you. Besides, it will make your friends jealous and you'll end up alone in your organization.

Best bet: always leave a few things laying around and forget to pay the phone bill from time to time. This makes everyone think you're overworked. You may even score big and get to have someone come in and help with the chores. If you accomplish this, you are automatically promoted to Queen Mother of Housewives, your feather duster will be gilded, and you'll become wealthy by selling the secret to your success. I will be your first customer.

But for now, I need to get along: my husband is calling for help with the littles, who are having a sleep over with eight of their best friends and have spilled coke on the floor which I'll have to steam clean in the morning after I run to the store for bug spray, but before I go through the car wash to vacuum up yesterday's french fries that are beginning to attract the ants that I have to kill before I can steam clean the carpets in the van.

And another thing . . . .

copyright 2004 dori knight


Member Comments
Member Date
Leticia Caroccio03/29/04
And another thing, I have become a fan of your work. Funny, wonderful, and so full of truth! Your daily agenda sounds like mine, except I drive 80 miles to work each day, then back home again. It's a wonder that I can manage my children's extracurricular activities, my own interests and hobbies and still manage to keep a smile on my husband's face. Only by the grace of God can I manage to do what should take 30 hours a day in only 20. Thank you for making me laugh.
Lynne Cox03/29/04
Oh I just loved this! It's one of the best pieces on motherhood I have ever read. My goodness what talent we have on this site!
Dave Wagner03/29/04
Starts well, ends well, and then there's all that great writing in between...excellent effort.

Some of my favorite lines:

>> Take two aspirin and call Dr. Dobson in the morning.<<

>> This makes everyone think you're overworked.<<

>> I will be your first customer.<<

>>...the littles...<<
Katie Hart03/29/04
Loved this! Even though I'm not a mother, I am the oldest of nine. There was one time we had four under age four. Since my mom's had trouble with her ankle for years and homeschools us (i.e. I'm home 24/7), guess who's Mom number 2? Your entries make me look forward to Monday mornings.
KAREN FASIG03/30/04
Great write as usual Dori! I can so relate and just to clue you in wait until all those grandchildren arrive!
Linda Germain 03/30/04
Beautiful! I only had one but can relate. One the way out the door in the morning, "Mom, I need a costume for the play at school TODAY" or "Oh, I forgot, I'm supposed to bring 24 cupcakes."
You certainly struck a chord with all domestic engineers everywhere.! :0)
David Dawson03/31/04
Ha Ha Ha!!! I am exhausted just reading this! I'm going home to heap praise and affection on my wife - and we just have two "littles." I enjoyed this very much.
Corinne Smelker 03/31/04
LOVED this!! We have 5 littles, and I am really praying I can get them into one sport at one time... well I can hope, can't I? I think you have my vote AGAIN!
Dian Moore03/31/04
This is my first read of any of your work (new member) but I'm going to look for more. Put together, humorous and celebratory all in in one. Thank you.
Christine Rhee03/31/04
Oh, Dori! Every paragraph brought fresh laughter!! I'm going to send this to my sister!!
Donna Anderson04/01/04
HA HA HA...Excellent title...HEE HEE..."weave your own toilet paper...", HO HO HO..."...don't think you have one(a brain)anyhow..." HA HA HA...! You've made my day. :) tee hee
William McNeese04/01/04
I enjoyed your article very much,puts a human touch on the side of life.I currently serve as a fulltime caregiver for my Mother who has Alzheimers, I also have become an househusband in the process. Do all the cooking, cleaning, running of errands.It gets trying at times because I am use to working outside the home,all my life. So this quite a change.Once again Great article.I saw on the message boards that you might not be writing for awhile, thats disappointing, you have so much to offer.I am new at this just geting started. william McNeese
Naomi Deutekom04/01/04
My days in the trenches are closing, but I still hear MOM!!!! once in awhile -usully when they don't have time to do their own laundry! Well done!
Jan Grupido04/02/04
Absolutely MUST email this to my daughter.(she's there right now with 2 littles etc.) ...she has to read the "re-creation" of my own motherhood ...on paper! This piece captivated, moved quickly, and NEVER bogged down in overdescriptive, belabored "pity" points....great job! Thank you
Antje Hill04/03/04
Moms, where would the world be without them! Great article! Written well!
Nita Frazier04/03/04
How is it possible to laugh so much at something so painully true? Priceless.
Kenny Paul Clarkson04/04/04

Well, Dori, you've done it again. Not only excellent insights, but creative (readable) delivery.

While reading this, I wondered if motherhood is becoming a lost art?

I also wonder about Paul's admonition to Titus; that the older women (not necessarily "old" women) are to teach the younger women. There is a nedd for godly women to show the ropes.

P.S. - Do you have Dr. Dobsons phone number????