Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Joy (05/18/06)

TITLE: Jubilation
By Jacqueline Fster
05/22/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

One of the most exciting feelings I have experienced,was that of winning a race as a child. During my early school days, we had the opportunity to participate in several activites during recess. Our group of children were solicited to participate in a race. I quickly volunteer to accept the challenge, knowing that I must practice each day. My father would often invite me to walk with him to the neighborhood store, since this offered me an opportunity to leave my 8th floor home, I gladly welcome this as an opportunity to practice strengthening my little legs. He was a tall, long legged man, and his pace was fast and quick. At times, my little legs could not keep up, but I persisted to stay alongside of him. During these walks I enjoyed the adult conversation and laughter. Shortly thereafter I noticed our walks became brisk and not as strenuous for me. The day of the race arrived, our group gathered with excitment as we lined up for our principal, knowing he would be monitoring our performance. As he walk along the yellow race lines, pass our group, he motioned for my teacher to ask me to come forward. I knew that I had to do the best I could. He mentioned to me "young lady, I want you to run and jump as high as you can" I nodded "yes sir". As I prepared to move forward with all the girlish gusto I ran and jumped as hard as I could, when I reached the mark,I landed flat on my feet. The principal shouted - Good Girl! I say Thanks Daddy--for those evening walks.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 448 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sherry Wendling05/26/06
It's true that children experience God's joy in such simple pleasures, the milestones of growth and identity. This piece merits putting more into it, building anticipation with dialogue and imagery, with 'showing' rather than telling. Keep writing!
Teri Wilson05/26/06
This is good, but I agree with the previous commenter. Make it more of a "show me" story. Also, separate into paragraphs for easier reading.
Leslie Lamb05/26/06
This is a good story, but it could have been a great story, easily. If you would have painted the story out for the reader with dialogue and emotion, it would have read much smoother.