The Official Writing Challenge
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This was good--written with knowledge of what it's like to be a teen-age girl. Your message of abstinence was well done also. Excellent job!
The point you make in your story about finding friends who believe in the One who can change people is so awesome! That's a gem of a sentence. It's difficult for people who haven't met that One to accept that change can happen; and once it happens, peace can come to live in the troubled heart.
Very well written indeed – both the descriptive parts and the dialogue. Your opening two paragraphs simply dripped with passion!
One small criticism would be that I found it distracting the way you used a selection of italics, apostrophes and quotation marks to highlight certain words or phrases. I suspect that the piece would have flowed better if you stuck to one method.