The Uncertain Welcome | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The Uncertain Welcome | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kati Shimoni
05/12/08
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We were both tense. Arguing right before the flight was both a result of nerves and uncertainty. He was very uncertain and it made me lonely and nearly unwanted. They would never receive me. I watched out the cabin window as the wing cut through cloud webs. Los Angeles was a vast hour behind us and it pulled at my sinking stomach until I thought I'd be sick. I had half the nerve to wake my sleeping husband up and ask him for a parachute. Had we made a mistake? His words from before pierced me with doubt but I sat posed. I would face this no matter what.

My greatest fear was not traveling 34,000 feet over the Atlantic to the land of Abraham and Isaac. It was meeting the descended seed. I was the foreign wife. I was the mistake that impulsive and young Jewish men sometimes make. I was the bread of temptation, the idolatry of forbidden places and rules broken. My husband had said his parents weren't religious. They wouldn't care. They ate pork. "My sister will love you."

I tried to console myself. I sat quietly meditating as the captain turned on the seat belt sign and told us that it would get a bit choppy. Daniel was sleeping. He could sleep through war fire. I wanted to talk but I knew his over-taxed nerves would snap again. Reality crawled into my skin and died there. I had assumed Christians and Jews were on the same side. It never occurred that I could pose a problem until now. Even Daniel had a hard time with it. Inhaling sharply, the smelling salts of my life jolted me. I was the unwanted, new daughter.

Speaking with my mother-in-law on the phone was always uncomfortable. We didn't understand each other. Her English was minimal at best and my Hebrew non-existent. I tried to listen intently to my husband but Hebrew sounded like a constant stream without distinct words or breaks, sometimes angry. Her tone was kind and rich. She said she was excited to meet me. She said as long as her son was happy, she was happy. But I knew she had warned him to never marry a non-Jew especially a Christian woman. Surely, I was her worst nightmare.

Sharp, gusty winds nearly blew me as I stepped off the plane. We were shuttled quickly to the airport. Making our way through customs and the baggage claim we headed towards the exit. Gearing up for the worst I anchored my heart to receive the disappointing stab and sedated all hope that I could be as loved as though Jewish. I walked close to Daniel, my heart pounding ruthlessly. He was smiling now. He was home. Heading straight for a small group of people his stride lengthened, nearly running. I hopped to keep up and then stood cautiously watching as two women laughed and cried and nearly strangled him as four arms were thrown around him. His father stood quietly by, grinning and gesturing. It was a celebration all its own.

All eyes turned towards me as Daniel untangled himself and looked my way. My mother-in-law opened her arms to embrace me. In a hearty brogue, "Shalom, my Dear, We are so glad to meet you!" Then Daniel's father with a kiss on each cheek sputtered his nearly inaudible praises and the flood gates were loosed. My new sister-in-law squealed and pulled me along with her. "How are you? I am so happy to see you! Your first time in Israel, Sweetie, I will show you everything!"

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