Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hard and Soft (04/23/09)
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TITLE: xxxxx- Defender of the Cow Pasture | Previous Challenge Entry
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04/23/09 -
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Living room.
My name is xxxxx. Oh yeah, for legal purposes (that’s what them lawyers call words we can’t not talk about) I can’t use my official name, so I’ll cross that out. I was just watching Nascar when I noticed a man was pulled over across the street. At first it wasn‘t a big deal, people break down near our house all the time. Little 4-1-1 (that’s like millatery talk fur you need to know this) I live across from a cow pasture, fancy country view if you can take the smell. I keep waiting for the man to get out of his car, but he just sits there. I’m pretty sure he’s watching me. As I am home alone, I’ll keep you posted and my jack knife ready. I learned that in boy scouts.
Day one, 1400 hours
Becky’s room.
Started thinking more about boy scouts. Maybe I not as prepared as I should be, so I’m going to get fancy spy gear. I’m in my daughters room; I got her a spy kit for Christmas- Whoa! Just stepped on a bunch of nail polish, tripped, and skun my knee on a foot tub! I think there’s some High School Musical band-aids in the bathroom, but I’ll take it like a man and keep lookin’ for that spy gear. Aha! There it is. Very nice. You’re playing with the big boys now! Night vision binoculars! Boo-ya! Realtree camouflage! Oh! Is he in for a surprise! All right, I’m going to find that band-aid now.
Day one, 1500 hours
Kitchen.
Started watching Nascar on the little dinky TV. In here because there’s only one window, and I don’t think he can see me. He’s definatly watching me. I can tell because I’m watching him right now. I used my Jr. high edjacashun to build this sorta telescope thing. First, I duct-taped the binoculars on top of my wife’s swifer, that way they pivot real nice. About a stone’s throw away from that I sat a mirror on Baxter’s kennel, angling it just right. Then I took a nail gun and secured another mirror behind that one (kinda messed up the paint a little, the stud was hard to find). Now I can see out the living room winda perfectly, and the best part is, he can’t see me!
Day one, 1600 hours
Garage.
I am fed up with this guy! He hasn’t moved in three hours! My new approach: I made a cardboard sign that read says, “I SEE YOU! CAN YOU SEE ME?” I’m putting it out by the mailbox now. This could be dangerous. I better grab a squirt gun.
Still day one, a few minutes after 1600 hours
Kitchen.
No reaction from the sign. Going to call my buddy Theodore, he just became an offishial police man, hopefully he can get rid of my little pest. Call me a hard-hearted man for kicking someone off my property, but guess what? I believe gun control means using two hands, and I believe that the United States of America ought to be the land of the free, not the home of the stalked! That would sound really good with some dramatic music.
Still day one, 1800 hours
Emergency room.
I know I said to call me a hard-hearted man before, but I turns out I’m really a big softie. Theodore drove down to give my pest a talking to, only he found him unable to make a sentence. He is apparently a diabetic, and while driving his sugar plunged. It didn’t look good, but doc gave him a shot of insulin, so now he should be fine. I got talking to him, his name is Marvin and he likes Nascar too! So I invited him to watch Nascar at my place next week. He said he would, but he had to go to church in the morning. I don’t know about this church. Maybe I’ll start spying on it. I have this great idea on how to improve my telescope, and it involves Tuppawhere lids that have been melted in the dishwasher.
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