The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/11/11
Nice story with a tension build up but I was anticipating an ending that never occurred. How did everyone know she was a Blazer fan?
03/11/11
I think the way they knew might have had something to do with the "open phone kiosks" mentioned in the first paragraph. Exciting story and very enjoyable read.
Great story. I like the pace buildup to the end when you get your character to the game.
You had a lot of suspense built up. I was sure there was going to be a bomb on the plane. I liked how you had my heart thumping. I did feel a little let down in the end, but the fact that you did surprised me made up for it.

Try to stay away from clichés like pedal to the metal and no problema. You also used your instead of you're welcome.

I enjoyed the characters and the trip back to the 70s when air travel was much simpler. You did a good job trying to show her anxiety instead of just tell. Keep those stories coming.