The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/04/09
I like the old version of the Ten Commandments too. It's much better than the new one.

I enjoyed this read and I never knew that about pastry. Hmmm, interesting to think of it as bittersweet. Good job!
06/04/09
Excellent opening... you hooked me in! It felt like it didn't have a strong flow to it.. kind of disjointed at times, yet I still thoroughly enjoyed it. I especially loved your pastry example!
06/10/09
good stuff! I liked the way you linked the film , the bible and a personal experience. I do think that this worked well. There was only one point when I lost the thread a bit which was the part when you talked about Egypt as I was not sure whether you were referring to modern day eygypt or the past. The addition of "ancient" before egypt or old testament egypt would just help the contextural flow.