The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/18/08
Good description of a running race! It would help the reader if you put an extra space between paragraphs. Nice message.
I loved how your body parts were talking to each other! And 'more respect for a wheezing geezer'! Great!
Watch for repetitive words like at the very bottom, there is "to to".
Liked the way your brought out the determination to finish.
(none of my business, indeed!) :)