Grief
I am Alone.
Last night, I sat on the family room sofa and as I stared into the kitchen my mind went back to the countless number of times I had sat in that same space and heard the key in the front door. Seconds later, my husband would stick his head around the corner and say "Hey." I tried to imagine him doing that same thing last night, but the memory was hazy. I am alone.
Alone. Lonely. They are not the same thing. Alone means that an individual may be isolated for a moment, a season, while lonely means an individual has no one to turn to, no one to call on.
I am alone, but I am not lonely. I have friends, family, a church family that I could call, but death really is an isolator, an interloper in relationships, a third party that makes people uneasy. People are uneasy about entering into conversation with the bereaved. What if they start to talk about the deceased, worse yet, what if they start to cry? Death leaves the bereaved in a kind of suspended animation, somewhere between the death of the loved one and the life they have yet to apprehend or comprehend.
People say, "I think about calling you, but I don't want to bother you." I know that it takes a brave soul to enter into the silence of the bereaved, to dare to reach out and take the chance of being rebuffed. It's like hiking into some unknown territory without a map, no compass, no markers. It's scary, but it is so vital to the life and the well being of the bereaved.
Grief is a funny thing. It takes its own sweet time about maturing into resolve and acceptance. The bereaved who tries to overcome its pull right away will find that grief demands attention, even if it has to go underground and eat away at the soul of the individual. Grief acknowledged and dealt with will not become a friend, but rather a challenge for emotional growth, internal strength, self-determination.
I am alone. Yes, I do know that single women cope with this "aloneness" every day, but the recent widow or widower must adjust gradually to this notion of singleness. Widow, even the name stands alone, rarely spoken, even by those widowed.
When God says in marriage the two become one, it's absolutely true. The pain of the severing of the marriage bond is not lessened because it was death that caused the separation rather than divorce. One stage of grief is anger; sometimes the bereaved feels abandoned by the mate who has died, sometimes even feels God has abandoned them because He allowed the death to happen. The pain of loss is real, and it isolates, for unless one has been there, no one can truly understand the depth of the pain.
I am alone. I have no one to tell my funny, quirky stories, stories that only he could understand and laugh about with me. I go to the bank alone, rather than sitting in the car waiting for him to make the deposit, then take me to one of his favorite eating places for lunch (his favorite places were almost always lacking in ambiance or style, but after twenty-five years I was used to his taste). I am the one who has to remember to feed the dog, and take the rent to the landlord.
Yes, I am alone, but I know I am not forsaken. I can rest in the assurance that God has not abandoned me. I can sleep well each night and get up each morning because God has not abandoned me. I can handle the mundane and extraordinary challenges of life because God has not abandoned me. I can face the challenge of going to Church every Sunday, a Church whose pulpit has been declared vacant, because God has not abandoned me. I can trust God to meet every material need because I know He has not abandoned me. I suppose I could follow each of these declarations with one of God's names, a name that defines both who He is and what He can do, but instead I declare to every hurting soul, every broken heart, "We are not alone for God has not abandoned us."
On second thought, perhaps there is a name that speaks to me in this season, Jehovah Nissi, the Lord My Banner. His Banner over me is love, protection, guidance. I am not alone.
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Reader Count & Comments
Date
The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com. This is especially true with articles that
deal with personal healthcare and prophecy. We encourage the reader to make their own decision in consultation with God, His Word, and others as needed.
This article has been read 1291 times < Previous | Next >
Read more articles by Donna Williams or search for other articles by topic below.
This article has been read 1291 times < Previous | Next >
Search for articles on: (e.g. creation; holiness etc.)
Read more by clicking on a link:Free Reprints
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles.
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review.
NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL
God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You
...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19
Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38
LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE
FaithWriters offers Christian reading material for Christian readers. We offer Christian articles, Christian fiction, Christian non-fiction, Christian Bible studies, Christian poems, Christian articles for sale, free use Christian articles, Christian living articles, New Covenant Christian Bible Studies, Christian magazine articles and new Christian articles. We write for Jesus about God, the Bible, salvation, prayer and the word of God.