Faith
But God remembered
Noah and all the beasts
and all the cattle...
in the ark.
And God made a wind blow
over the earth,
and the waters
subsided.
[Genesis 8:1]
***********************
"Lord, can You fix
my SINK?"
"Why, child."
"WHY?
Cuz, it's SLOW,
THAT's why!"
[SILENCE.]
"Can't You SEE IT?
(Kvetchy squint.)
(Point irritably at sink bowl.)
I thought You could
see EVERYTHING!"
"Yes, child.
I do."
"WELL?
FIX it!"
[SILENCE.]
"I thought we were
supposed to pray about
EVERYTHING?"
[SOLEMN NOD.]
"WELL?"
"What have I asked
you before, My precious?"
(Thoughtful ponder.)
"Eh......eh,
Why are you anxious
about the gas PRICES?
How come you don't
like the word, 'KINGDOM'?
How many times do I have
to tell you to stop YELLING?
What don't you like
about the GOSPEL?
Can you read My lips, CHILD?"
[PATIENT SILENCE.]
"Aw, come ON, LORD!
You fix stuff for OTHER PEOPLE!"
[STERN PAUSE.]
"I'm waiting, little one."
"Eh.........well,
You do say 'Who Am I?'
alot. But......"
[FIRM NOD.]
"Yeah. But, LORD!
I figure it's been, like,
6,000 YEARS!"
"AM I about to hear
more sarcasm,
O precious?"
(Grimmace.)
(Silence.)
"Uh uh.
Hey, I was sayin',
I mean, if I WERE the
sarcastic type: I might
say,
'.......after 6,000 years,
You'd think You'd know
Who You Were!'
(Solemn, innocent look up at ceiling.)
But.....I've given up my
sarcasm, Lord."
"I see."
[STERN SIGH.]
"Yeah; I'm way past it.
I'm maturing.
It's kapput.
I'm done."
[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
"I told Who You Are,
LORD!"
[NOD.]
"Who."
"The One in the Burning Bush!"
"AND."
"Eh.......the One Who Parted
the Red Sea?
(Thoughtful squint.)
No...Charlton Heston did that."
[DEEP SIGH.]
"Eh.....I dunno.
(Another squint.)
Uh, the One Who told us
not to be... ANXIOUS?"
[NOD.]
"Yeah, but I thought that
was JESUS?"
[PATIENTLY WAITING.]
"Isn't He the Really Nice GENTILE GOD?"
[SMILE!]
"Yeah, and.....You're, like,
the Mean JEWISH God!
The One I know, and
LOVE!"
[COUNTING TO TEN.]
"Read My Word, child."
(Whiny voice of a child.)
"Yeah, but, L....O....R....D!
We're GETTING off the
SUBJECT, A...G....A....I....N!"
(Impatient sigh!)
What d'Ya do about my
D...R....A....I....N?"
[SIGH.]
"Don't worry about it,
My beloved.
[LONG PAUSE.]
"Just read My Word."
"Is there somethin' in
There about unplugging DRAINS?"
"Read and see."
(Chuckle!)
"Is that how all the WATER
went down, in the ARK STORY?
Ya know: You just unplugged
a huge DRAIN?"
[SMILE.]
"It is a Mystery, little one."
"Yeah, well.....I don't wanna
get that Draino stuff: it's
always got all these WARNINGS
all over it! I pick it up at the
store, then look all the nasty
stuff it can do to people
and live animals.... and
I always end up putting it down.
The thing is, it always says,
'DO NOT USE THIS PRODUCT IN A SMALL
UNVENTILATED AREA. IT PRODUCES
HAZARDOUS FUMES.'
(Squint thoughtfully.)
But, L..O...R...D!
BATHROOMS are ALWAYS in
small, UNVENTILATED AREAS!
So, I don't GET IT?"
[SYMPATHETIC NOD.]
"And, I'd certainly never
call a plumber. Man, those
guys make more than.....than,
the SPURS do!"
"I understand, My beloved."
"Yeah, life is a trial."
[NOD.]
"Yeah."
"I'm still waiting, child."
(Innocent whine.)
"I know Who Ya ARE, L...O...R...D!
(Pause.)
The One Who Won't unplug
my D...R...A...I...N!"
[PATIENT NOD OF A SMITTEN FATHER.]
"Yes, child.
That is Who I Am."
****************************
Therefore I tell you,
do not be anxious
about your life.....
Look at the birds
of the air;
they neither sow
nor reap
nor gather into barns,
and yet
your Heavenly Father
feeds them.
[Matthew 6:25-26]
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