Better Than | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Better Than | Previous Challenge Entry
By Corinne Smelker
01/27/22
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From: [email protected]

My dearest Strumpet:

I was going to send you a text in response to your question, but once I started typing realised an email might be best. At least it’s not a ‘camera on, Zoom meeting,’ am I right? Oh, what a joy it is to irritate our charges with stupid, meaningless meetings that achieve nothing and say less. I know some are getting wise to our game and are now saying, “That could have been sent in an email…” But it was good while it lasted! Our Father Below is coming up with new juicy time-wasting, soul-sucking technology ideas, and we will showcase them soon.

OK, on to the question at hand. This worldwide disease has worked for us and against us in many ways. For us, in the sense that Our Enemy’s followers have had a harder time than usual in meeting together. Our Enemy Above’s favourite, Paul, admonished the followers to never stop meeting. Oh, through the millennia, we’ve stopped the humans through various means, but it never lasted. Our Father Below thinks this time though, we are onto a winner.

Here’s how you are going to frame things to your human. Be as subtle or as brash as you need, you know your human better than anyone. Imply that going to church is just a tradition, something only needed for special occasions – like Chris- Chris- wait, I can write that dreaded word – Christmas (see, I did it and my fingers are only slightly singed), and that all the church is really good for is chanting, lighting candles, bowing and scraping, and a homily.

Never let her for one moment see the beauty in the customs performed by her church. Now, she goes to a ‘high’ church, but this works for those who attend the ‘happy-clappy’ churches too. In some ways it’s even easier with them because they think they are so above the old-fashioned ways of the Church of England, the Catholic Church, or any of the Orthodox churches. They believe they are ‘in the Spirit’ (what does that even mean?) and as a result consider themselves better than those who have a very structured church service. Let them for not one moment realise that just because they don’t have incense in their building, and their leader wears skinny jeans, that they don’t participate in a tradition. See, in this way we get them coming and going!

We still haven’t figured out WHY meeting together is so important for these useless creatures. I once stepped foot in one of Our Enemy’s buildings (that was awful, took me weeks to recover), and couldn’t see why the Enemy tells these dreadful organisms to get together. They could have been in a pub for all the difference I could see. And yet, somehow, it changes them – for the worst as far as we are concerned.

Anyway, to recap. For those in the high church, let them think the tradition of church attendance can be limited to those days Our Enemy deems special. And for the happy-clappy mortals let them see themselves as superior to ‘all that religious twaddle’.

First prize in both cases is when you have the high church human focus on the traditional elements but ignoring why they are there in the first place; and the happy-clappy focus on how much they AREN’T like their traditional counterparts and how cool they are. Keep them on those thoughts and they’ll never realise that they are not even communing with Our Enemy Above.

It’s a solid strategy, and in tandem with the fear of everything around them (we’ve made everything in their temporal world scary – great, isn’t it?) we are onto a winner! Soon enough they will stop meeting together as that fool Paul told them to do; and we can manipulate them all the more easily.

Well, that’s enough for now. I am off to check out some new videos on YouTube. What a site!

With love,
Auntie Diabolica

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In tribute to C. S. Lewis and "The Screwtape Letters"

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