Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TRAIL (05/13/21)
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TITLE: Hidden Sins | Previous Challenge Entry
By Corinne Smelker
05/20/21 -
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I had some serious thinking to do today, so having to think about my route was not on my agenda. I wanted to put the miles in while allowing my mind to resolve the sticky situation I faced.
After my warmup I reached Gypsy’s Bend, a fairly easy section of the trails and just put one foot in front of the other. I hadn’t run these sections in years, not since I left home and went to varsity in Cape Town and then procured my first job in nearby Stellenbosch. One phone call changed everything. The essence was, ‘your mother died in a car accident. Come quick.’
I did come quickly, but nothing else was quick about it – from organizing the funeral to the reading of the will, it was like I was living in the middle of treacle, slow and sticky. But everything was jogging along (ha – jogging, get it?) when I stumbled upon something that I am sure my mother never intended anyone to ever find out: a secret life.
When I was going through mom’s things I discovered a key to a storage unit, which was odd to me because mom was a minimalist, her home was spartan at best. Out of curiosity, and really obligation as the executor of her will, I drove over to the unit. I had no idea that in opening Unit 572 that I was in fact opening Pandora’s Box.
I briefly greeted another runner on the trail before my mind wandered again. The unit was set up as a mini studio, with professional lighting, a whole camera rig and a large ornate bed in the middle. Photos tacked to the walls showed me more of my mother than I ever wanted to see! To say I was disgusted, angry, ashamed, disappointed, and angry beyond belief doesn’t even begin to express how I felt as I took it all in. My mother, who seemed to be the paragon of virtue, who went to church every week, was doing this?
I realized I was breathing hard, too hard, and it was not because of my running pace, it was the anger manifesting I took some deep calming breaths. For the first time in a long time, I prayed to the God of my youth. “Father, how could she? What a hypocrite she was, telling me how to live my life and she was doing this? And if hadn’t been for the accident no one would have been the wiser! What do I do? Do I hide this? Everyone thinks she is the bees’ knees and Queen of Virtue. Do I protect her reputation and just dispose of the things in the unit, or do I speak up?”
Thoughts blazed through my mind – ideas of ‘outing’ her, but then also of protecting her. As I ran I was reminded of a meme I had seen on Facebook a few weeks earlier, “Be merciful. We all sin. We just do it differently.”
As I reflected on that I realized that it was true. Mom’s sins just weren’t on display for the world to see, and it was up to me now to decide whether I aired them out, or let the trail of them run cold.
1 Timothy 5:24 (NLT) The sins of some are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them.
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