Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: BURIED (04/01/21)
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TITLE: When the Plot Thickens | Previous Challenge Entry
By LINDA GERMAIN
04/08/21 -
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The whole thing started when her mother reminded her there were several burial spaces still available next to long-deceased relatives. At that time, lovely Miss Janie had no desire to ponder anything to do with such grave business.
She moved 2,000 miles away from that hometown and met a man on the coast who, unbelievably, hailed from her birthplace back east. He was a few years older and remembered her brothers, but not their little sister. As a teenager, he had joined the Navy and left for good, finally settling out west.
It turns out he also had inherited a few lots in the same cemetery where many of her family were memorialized with pithy last words and data on stone tablets to mark their spots.
After a brief courtship, they married.
There was one thing the groom had forgotten to tell her. During the war, he had invested in some prime property in the land of orange groves, sunshine, and movie stars. He figured it wasn’t worth very much and decided to hold on to what did not seem like an appreciable asset. He was wrong. Famous people were clamoring to end up there.
Fast forward fifty years. They had moved to another state. Sadly, he passed away. As a former Navy man, he received a military funeral at the beautiful local Veterans Cemetery. She was pleased with the well-kept grounds and the fact that spouses of Vets were approved to be interred there as well. Sounded like a plan.
Later, it dawned on her that she now owned at least a dozen or so final resting places but with no intention of using any of them. None of her kids had any interest and tried to convince her that at least four of the plots had to be worth some big money by now.
A few generations of actors and other celebrities had used up a lot of that real estate over the years. Her inherited property was surrounded by lovely old trees and near the front of the prestigious grounds. It had become some seriously desirable dirt.
One day, out of a clear blue sky, her doorbell rang. She supposed the happy-looking man in the somber suit was selling magazines, cookware, or perhaps invitations to a church in the neighborhood.
He wasn’t.
“Good morning, Ma’am. I’ll be brief. I represent the recently built and ready for occupancy Cemetery over on…”
“Stop!” she hollered as she bent double in uncontrollable laughter. Tears rolled down her face.
He seemed to be concerned and bewildered at the same time.
“What’s wrong, Ma’am? Are you okay? Why is that so funny?”
She held up one hand until she could stem this surprising outbreak of seemingly inappropriate mirth.
“I’m so sorry, dear,” she managed to say while shaking her disbelieving head at such a silly turn of events. “It’s an exceptionally long story. “
Finally, she halted the embarrassing lack of elderly lady-like manners as she tried to explain.
“Let’s put it this way,” she spoke with forced decorum, trying not to giggle again, “I might well have a deal for YOU!”
He was puzzled and speechless when she began to deliver her own sales pitch with as much drama and stage presence as any deceased old star resting close to her available burial spots.
She opened this unexpected turn-of-events cold call with one blunt and to-the-point question.
“Sir, have you ever been to California?”
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*True story. Yes, she sold them, but not to the man at her door. Still makes my plot-rich mother laugh, which is just fine. A merry heart really does do good like a medicine!
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