The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/21/21
A good story with a compelling message. It needs a sequel.
03/22/21
Great title with a nice play on words. I like how you showed her physical reaction. What a wonderful story to show the impact of our witness. Just a couple of minor things “temples swelled” I’ve never heard of that word, a typo? And “it was Sunday arvo” what’s arvo? Other that that a wonderful story.
You have some great descriptions, although sometimes simple might be better. Use body language and thoughts to show that. For example have her message her temples. You have a clear message and this is a great testimony. Congratulations on ranking 15 overall. Happy Dance!