Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD (07/23/20)
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TITLE: Stepping Into the Light | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jack Taylor
07/30/20 -
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For me, on this day, it was the darkness. The inky blackness wrapped itself around my soul like a shroud and left me numb. I’d sensed a small taste of this with my sisters when we played hide and seek. I would hide in closets or under blankets and relish the invisibility of resting unseen and unnoticed but this time was different. This darkness left me feeling like I was buried under an avalanche, under a heavy weight pressing my arms and feet into immobility, chaining me into helplessness.
I called my sisters the M and M duo because of their names. On those days when I would hide I could hear their voices echo dully into my hiding space. “Laz, we’re coming for you. Laz, we know you’re here. Don’t laugh, Laz.” I know most of those memories are from childhood but somehow they seem like yesterday.
Sometimes, during those silly times, they would try to sing because they knew my weakness for music. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the trumpet, harp, lyre, timbrel, strings, pipes or cymbals, I was made to dance. Two weeks ago, at my cousin’s wedding, I was one of the first on the dance floor and probably the last to leave. “You still got it, Laz!” yelled my cousin. “You know how to put your best foot forward wherever you are.” That was then.
The day after the festivities I had trouble getting out of bed. “Guess you had too good a time,” my oldest sister said. “Maybe next time you could help me out a little with the hospitality.”
I ignored her as I stumbled to the restroom and didn’t mention the dizziness. My feet were tripping and betraying me.
A week ago, the fever was intense. I remember my sisters rushing in with cool cloths. And then it got dark, empty, lonely. I had this sense of distant wailing I couldn’t comfort. What was, was no more. The voices dimmed. An icy stillness wrapped itself around my soul again. My foot was stilled.
And this is the moment I get impacted by déjà vu. Years ago, I had hidden in a well for hours and no one could find me – until he did. The one who seemed to know where I was even in my darkest moments. And on this day, I sensed he was near. Weeping. Searching. Reaching for me.
His voice broke through the stillness, echoing as if he was on the other side of a far canyon and then as if he was right next to my ear. It felt like prayer with power slashing away at the darkness surrounding me. It felt like a defiant shout against my captor – unveiling my hiding place with a declaration of triumph.
“Lazarus, come out!”
I’d been found but I was bound. Celestial music flowed through the ice and sent warmth into my core. But how do you put your best foot forward when you’re at your worst? When you can’t do a thing to help yourself? When shame and guilt and fear still smother you?
Somehow, my toes wiggled in incremental tugs. I was elevated and drawn out of darkness into light. And then the words that only he could say. “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”
A tug, a turn, a twist and wow! I was free. I honestly don’t know if I got out of that space with my best foot forward. All I know is that once neither of my feet were moving forward. He got hold of me right where I was at my worst moment and turned it all around.
Now, if you’ve spent enough time listening, let’s get some music going and use our feet for what they were made for. Now that I’m walking in the light I don’t want either foot in the dark again.
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