The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 545 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a beautiful way to present this story. I think it took a too long to figure out what was going on, so the into could be shortened a bit, maybe. But it still has good impact. I was "feeling it" by the time I got to the end. Nice job.
The first half of your story is better than the last half, sorry to say. First half is very good actually, but then it starts scattering in too many directions. Yikes. What do I know? I just felt let down. Sorry. . .
This is a lovely retelling of a familiar story. I liked your take on the topic. Congratulations on ranking 13 overall. Happy Dance!