On the Road Again... or Not. | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: On the Road Again... or Not. | Previous Challenge Entry
By Allison Egley
01/18/18
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Top Ten Things to do When Bored and Stuck in Traffic

Has traffic got you down? Are you feeling your brain cells die slowly, one-by-one, from sheer boredom? Try some of these techniques. *

10. Turn your radio on the classical station full blast and roll your windows down. It’s about time someone showed those young whippersnappers what it feels like to be forced to listen to a station you don’t like. Really any “unpopular” genre of music would work well for this. Got a polka station, per chance?

9. Make sure you take on the role of conductor while listening to the classical station. Put all your frustrations into your arm movements. This can be done with the window up or down.

8. Roll down your window. Shout “Red light!” After a few seconds, shout out “Green light!” when traffic does not move at your command, loudly complain that no one is playing the game right.

7. Turn your car’s steering wheel into a drum set. Actually, this one does not have to be confined to traffic jams. However, if you chose to do so while driving, please be careful and considerate of your fellow drivers.

6. Attempt a Chinese Fire Drill. For those who are uninformed, it’s probably for the best. But a Chinese Fire Drill is when you put the car into park, get out of the car, and attempt to run around your car and get back in before traffic starts moving again. Not recommended on the highway.

5. Play the license plate game, where you try to find plates from other areas. Granted, if you’re stuck in traffic you’re going to be seeing the same cars. Probably all from your own state, province, or territory, so you likely won’t get too far. But it’s worth a shot.

4. Make an acrostic from the license plate ahead of you. Let’s see... PL6 E8V? Pandas Loved 6 Evergreens (and) Ate (8) Veggies.

3. Play the ABC game. Pick a subject and try to come up with something for each letter of the alphabet. Subject: Foods. Letter? X... Uh... xylophone shaped cookies??

2. Sing to the Lord at the top of your lungs. With or without the window rolled down. Once traffic starts moving again, please refrain from closing your eyes and raising your hands in praise. “For everything there is a season and a time...” Driving is not the time.

1. Use the time to come up with a really creative excuse about why you’re late to wherever it is you’re headed. “Well, you see, there I was driving along, minding my own business, when I looked over to the car next to me. And there wasn’t a person in the car, it was a cow. Driving a car. And I knew there must have been a person in there at some point, because, I mean a cow might be able to turn a steering wheel and work the pedals, but how can it turn the key with those big hooves? So I knew I had to try to ram the car off the road and... oh, who am I kidding. Traffic. Traffic is my excuse. Today, and pretty much every day.“

*The author of this article takes no responsibility for any outcomes that may come from trying these ideas. Telling your boss you saw a cow driving the car next to yours is especially not recommended. The author would also advise against many of these ideas if a law enforcement officer or ambulance is in view. You might be taking a ride in their vehicle.

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Ecclesiastes 3:1

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