The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1527 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Good job with the dialog. Liked the message, too. This is nicely done.
04/19/08
This is a sweet story and a well-written message. It would be a good one for kids to read. I enjoyed it too!
04/19/08
So moving, and I love the title and the authenticity of Jake's voice. Very nicely done. Good stuff.
04/20/08
Very good! Loved this and I'm pretty sure I know who wrote it:) Nice job. Loved listening to the little boy's thought processes and how he finally "got it."
04/21/08
This is very well done. I love the dialogue and the ending brought a tear to my eye. Wonderful piece.
04/21/08
This was awesome! I loved the little details, like his constantly moving foot scuffing the chair rung. I am jealous of your masterful use of dialogue. Loved it!
I don't often use the word "sweet" but I can't help it this time. It truly is. It's definitely a keeper!
Nice job!
04/21/08
Excellent! Lots of pieces with parent-child dialogue get the voices wrong, but I think you nailed it here.
Good distinction between the different characters' voices. I would be so afraid if my daddy had been a coal miner!
I love the message in this story. What a wise wife and mother to see and convey to her children their father's true heroism. The dialogue around cookie eating was well-done and brought the reader right into your story with lots of word pictures.
The voice of the child and mother were spot on. I think it can be tough writing dialogue-heavy pieces like this, but you executed it perfectly. Not only that, but the story was very cute as well.

What a blessing to read. Thank you for sharing it. :)
04/23/08
I really enjoyed reading this, Peej! The image of the little boy swinging his foot back and forth is so cute-and vivid. Love all the characters and the dialogue.
04/23/08
Great dialog. I liked it when Jake rolled his eys at his brother. That whole, "Duh! Why doncha get it?" look came right to my imagination.
04/23/08
TOO cute! I have no idea why I can picture the eyes rolling so well at the end. ;)
04/24/08
I loved your play on word in your title! The ladder/hero comparison is great. It was so fun to see Dads throught kid eyes. Really great story with excellent writing!
04/24/08
Beautiful...you captured it just right!
Awwww! Cute! That's my first reaction to this, the second one is a happy smile. I liked Jake and I especially liked his ladder-very true words and what a neat explanation. Great job! ^_^