The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/19/20
The imagery took my breath away. What a masterful use of words! (IMHO, the last paragraph was not needed.)
This is a powerful piece. You do an excellent job of painting a brilliant picture. Be careful to stay consistent with tense. (You started in past and switched to present.) I think this is a unique and touching retelling of the familiar parable and the last line knocked it out of the park.
11/19/20
This is great writing. The imagery at the beginning seemed to stall the real story. But I was mesmerized by the flow and rhythm. For me, the last paragraph was not needed.
11/19/20
Very good imagery, but maybe a little too much before getting to actual story.
Well done. I loved this line: “The Law, the law, the law” like the caw, caw, caw of a crow.
A lot of vivid imagery!
11/24/20
Loved the imagery in this this. Beautiful piece. Hope it places high.