The Official Writing Challenge
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Very good writing to retell thr bible story. You captured my attention. Careful proofreading will show some needed corrections. I wonder if a moonbeam would be bright enough to show the dancing dust particles. I loved your description however.
06/09/18
Great job creating the mood and suspense of the story and developing it toward a revealing of the Bible story.

There were a couple of things that threw me off. The first was the use of the word "Christian" in the second paragraph. Since they weren't called "Christians" until later, I put the setting of this story to a much later time. The second was the presence of Sapphira being present when her husband died, rather than coming in later. Otherwise, a very engaging and challenging story.
06/10/18
A very powerful depiction of how the church survived during a time of great persecution. So many read this story as a simple cause and effect for lying, but if God put everyone to death for lying (or not properly tithing), then I daresay many of us would not be here today.

You do a great job of revealing the hardships and struggles resulting from the persecution, and highlighting the need for love and trust amongst the believers. You bring home well the betrayal of Ananias and Sapphira that was the true cause of their punishment.

Very insightful work! Great job!
Congratulations on ranking 15 overall. Happy Dance!