The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/10/17
A bittersweet story with a beautiful message. Well done and thank you!
11/10/17
Well done
Blessings~
11/10/17
Touching story about the relationship between the MC and Salvatore.

Was the main character male or female?

Sometimes, I noticed you slipped between present and past tense.
I enjoyed reading about a child's relationship with God. Using "Sal" kept my interest until the end, as I suspected, but wasn't sure that the MC was talking about God.
For some red ink - I'm not sure that the colons you use are appropriate. I think commas would work better.
Thanks for the read.