The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 531 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a lovely story--I fell in love with the little girl, myself.
04/10/15
"and the child shall lead them" came to mind as I finished reading this bittersweet entry. Your message is beautifully clear and your creative writing truly brought the patient and child alive for this reader.
04/10/15
What a touching story. It is amazing the joy a child can bring and their way of drawing a person to Jesus.

Wonderful writing. Blessings, LaVonne
04/10/15
Such a sweet and endearing story. Loved both voices of your two main characters - both were realistic.
This moving but uplifting story tugged on my emotions all way through. I was well written and I could imagine both MCs and loved the interaction between them. I loved it.
What a beautiful story, wonderfully told. Although I guess it is fiction, it illustrates so well the amazing ways in which God reaches out to the suffering and the vulnerable to show them Himself. Just lovely.
What lovely writing. The pace was perfect. The characters and their voices were believable. Truth was throughout the writing. Though, I could guess the ending, it's a short story and hard to keep a reader from guessing! I was still kept interested, though. The only red ink is this: I'm not sure the description of Mr. Blacksmith's face as he looked into the mirror was smoothly described. The lines drawn tight part stood out to me as not fitting into the overall voice of the story. It seemed a little forced as a description. Other than a small bit of red ink that just may be me who felt that, this entry is a sure bet! Loved it
04/11/15
My only critique (and who am I to criticize a Master) is the choice of names. "Mr. Blacksmith" sent me immediately into an image of a blacksmith, not a man in the hospital undergoing chemo.
Lucy, however seemed a perfect choice.
What a beautifully illustrated story about how the love of a child can touch the heart of a lonely and broken man. I especially liked your description of heaven in your piece.
04/11/15
Great story, executed with perfection.
04/12/15
I loved your story! I too was thrown by the name Mr. Blacksmith. At first, I thought you were saying the guy was one. You might consider a different name. Otherwise, I really enjoyed reading this. Best of luck in the Challenge.
04/14/15
Week after week I'm blessed to be reading the entries in FWs. So many talented writers, each unique unto themselves. This piece was special, moving, and unique.

Excellent work, as always.

God bless~
04/15/15
A very touching and believable story. You've told it well and your characters ring true. Great writing!
04/16/15
I thought this was you!
Congrats Milly.

God bless~
04/17/15
Congrats on your EC placing, Milly. It's well deserved.