Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: GLUTTONY (overindulgence and overconsumption) (01/15/15)
-
TITLE: Deacon Right | Previous Challenge Entry
By PamFord Davis
01/21/15 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Addressing the large congregation, he begins, “This is an exciting day for Crabtree Corner’s First Sanctimonious Church.”
With great pride, he smiles at his impeccably dressed wife seated in the front row.
“First, I want to extend a warm welcome to any first time visitors. We feel honored that you chose First Sanctimonious as your house of worship. Before our new pastor brings his first sermon, I have only one announcement. We invite everyone to stay for a potluck dinner in the family life center. Our church ladies are the best cooks in the county!”
Nodding head in direction of the pastor, he says, “Brother Tim…”
Precisely one hour later, the young preacher voices a benediction. With only one small pastorate under his belt, he has much yet to learn of leadership in such a large congregation.
Before eating, Lula Mae Right surveys Pastor Tim skeptically. Sauntering up to Betty Sue, she whispers, "I hope we did not make a mistake calling a preacher from New England, look at him. He’s skinny as a rail!”
Betty Sue chimes in. “What he needs is a wife’s good home-cooking; she’d put meat on those bones!”
“Why hadn’t I thought of that? It’s our Christian duty to find him a help-mate," answered Lula Mae.
Elbowing her way through the assembled crowd, she finds a place at the end of the buffet table. There, she can serve beverages and simultaneously corner their new preacher.
As he approaches, she puts on her best Dixie-darlin’smile.
“Welcome to First Sanctimonious Reverend Grant; I thoroughly enjoyed your message!”
“Drop the Reverend and thank you; everyone has made me feel welcome.”
“Just look at your plate, not enough there to keep a bird alive! Did you see the fried chicken, fried okra and banana pudding? I brought them, my husband’s favorites. When you go back for seconds be sure to try those.”
“Thanks, this will do me nicely; I’m not a big eater. I’ll have unsweetened tea, please.”
“Brother Tim, this is the south; we like our foods deep-fried and our tea sweet!”
“Unsweet please…”
“Okay preacher, you’ll come around to our ways; wait ‘n see.”
He reaches for his tea before finding himself an empty seat at the nearest table.
As months pass, women of the church discover their attempts to find the perfect match is fruitless. In Brother Tim’s presence, they are no longer cordial; and he wonders how he can tactfully smooth ruffled feathers.
Church fellowships are becoming an underlying source of conflict; courteous but adamantly, this northerner refuses to sample their favorite southern recipes. Pastor Grant goes too far when he announces the theme of a morning sermon.
“Please open your Bibles to the Book of Proverbs, twenty-third chapter, verses 1-3. The subject of today’s message is gluttony.”
Worshipers squirm in their pews and look with shock into eyes of those sitting nearby. Is he insinuating there is a problem with gluttony…obesity at First Sanctimonious?
There’s a decided chill in the vestibule as exiting worshipers shake the pastor’s hand. It is not due to central air malfunctioning; it is instead the cold-shoulder treatment that the pastor is receiving.
The following morning, Lula Mae takes action…
“I tell you, that as chairman of the deacons, people expect you to set this Yankee straight. If he won’t mend his ways, show him the door! Are you listening? March right down to his office and speak your mind!”
“You’re right, but it’ll have ta’ wait. These bouts of heartburn are making me miserable, seeing Doc Goodbody at nine.”
“Well then, right after the doctor. Okay to call Tim? Tell him you’re coming?”
“Sure.”
The deacon has complete confidence in the doctor, his lifelong friend. After the physical, he re-dresses and waits in the frigid examination room. Scowling, the doctor enters I-Pad in hand.
“Deacon, for years I’ve warned you about your high fat diet and lack of exercise. But would you listen? No! You just laughed it off, said you couldn’t resist Lula Mae’s good cooking. This is no simple case of heartburn. This is serious. You have heart failure! I’m admitting you to the hospital immediately.
Grasping his chest, the patient grows chalky gray. Moaning, he falls from atop the examination table. Mr. Right was decidedly wrong.
*Fiction
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Great job and well done!
God bless~