The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/21/14
Wow - this had my heart thumping and adrenaline flowing. Excellent work!


I have such a high amount of respect for firefighters in all capacities in which they serve.


Loved it.

God bless~
11/22/14
There were some great images I particularly liked: wife-sized bundle, lumpy marshmellows, Michelin twins, Snow White dwarfs. The clock times were a good way to form the POV pattern. I love how there was so much indicated in a few key sentances. A lot of suspense, 3 final words to break it. Ah Praise God! Thanks for a good read :)
11/22/14
I also warmed to your great word pictures, drawn with real verbal economy.

The time-readings were clever, though I missed the POV switches until about half-way through.

Summers Downunder are a constant fire-risk, so you hooked me from the start.
11/26/14
Very credible action, wonderful wording. I loved the undercurrent of the story of a marriage grown askew because of the loss of a child, and the promise of a turning point.

You're a great story writer!
Where I live we have four seasons, Fall, Winter, Spring, and Wildfires. Gives us lots of reasons to pray - for safety, for rain, for clear air.

Wonderful story and congratulations!

11/27/14
Wahoo! Congratulations on the commendation!
11/28/14
Congrats.
Great story!
God bless~
Congratulations. So well written and fast moving. A very well deserved placing. God bless.