The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 907 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Wow! You tea'd up on this one. What a fun read.
09/05/14
Wow - your story makes my life seem as dull as watching an ant cross the road!

Funny tale and entertaining for sure. Nicely done! I liked how you put the "topic " in at the last moment.

God bless~
09/05/14
I am trying to come up with an expletive that emphasizes how hilarious this is without taking the Lord's name in vain!

You had me laughing out loud - the real kind not the "lol" kind - and that just doesn't happen to me very often.

These two, back-to-back entries had me laughing in particular:

0:17 a.m. Return to find cat on counter, calmly lapping up cold, forgotten peppermint tea. Re-attach cat to sticky trap for disciplinary purposes. Collect fresh cup and saucer, and fill teakettle again.

10:22 a.m. Spy a Small Brown Scuttling Object in corner. Fling various articles of footwear at it. Discover that now-flattened Small Brown Scuttling Object was only a dust bunny wafting in breeze from air conditioner. This time.

Those and the ongoing struggle to have a cup of hot tea are just a few of the absolutely perfect timing you exhibit in this comedic piece. Comedy is so hard to write, it takes such skill and total awareness of the comedic moment - that balancing point where the material is ripe for tipping the humorous into hilarity.

You've mastered it with this piece. Congratulations on a great job!
09/06/14
This is truly hilarious. I suspected it was a true story with the comical descriptions of identical attack tactics of my own. I've never met a scorpion, but spiders, black with elbows above head... don't even go there! Great fun read.
Oh, wow!

Somehow, I had a feeling you were responsible for this piece.

Too funny. Way too funny!

And am I ever glad the worst thing I have in my house is spiders...

Just one question - where were the goats and the chickens while this was happening? Or is that in the next story?
09/07/14
Hilarious! Engaging and well-written. You've done really well with this. The title - that's the only bit I don't get, but I'm probably missing something that I should have got. Great writing!
09/07/14
Oh my. This is hilarious. I espeically the love the line about reattaching the cat to the sticky trap for disciplinary purposes. I could tell a tale of sticky traps and mice at my high school... :)
09/07/14
Three rhyming synonyms come to mind: fun, fun, and fun.

The title was a gem: a precursor to a considerable amount of post-cursing (under your breath, I imagine)

Loved it all the way through. I hope for your sake that the scorpion got so embarrassed at all this publicity that it committed insecticide.
Hysterical! I guffawed (very unladylike) all the way through this dynamite piece. I have to keep my eye on you - to read all that you write . . .
09/10/14
Ah hahahahaha
Really a fabulous slapstick piece.
Loved the cat antics as I was completely able to visualize its curiosity/ misbehavior causing it to become stuck three times.
I used to scissor those lil bugers up while temporarily slowed down and snagged in the Berber carpet when we lived in the high desert.
09/11/14
Congrats! Great writing.
Oh what a hoot. You had me giggling one moment and in awe of your "salsa" words the next. (Jan did a lesson about using salsa words to paint picture for reader in her Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards. This story has many excellent examples.) The only red ink I have is tiny. I noticed in the beginning you slipped from present to past tense and back again. Writing in the present tense (especially in a true story) can be hard to keep it consistent, but the present tense works brilliantly in this story. I almost expected to see scorpion in the tea. You have a wonderful sense of humor and are a true Master. Congratulations on another well-deserved EC. Happy Dance!
09/11/14
Congrats Rachel. Loved this fun piece.
09/11/14
Congrat'U'lations!

Wing His Words
09/12/14
Congratulations, Rachel. Your 2nd place is most deserved.
Congratulations on your well deserved placing. I just loved this.