The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/25/14
Good contrast of lives in the is well written and interesting tale.

God bless~
04/27/14
This was well written and it left me wanting to read more of this story. Even though it was more of a snapshot of a "day in the life" type of thing, with no dramatic driver, it had a great, easy feel to it. You established each character firmly and completely and it read like the opening to a longer story or novel. One I'd like to read someday.

Thanks for sharing.
04/28/14
Your story drew me in at the start, peaked my interest in Tommy's character, but then too much time spent in the teacher's attempt to change Hank's mind left not enough time to bring about a conclusion that didn't feel rushed or forced. I liked the story and feel that a little re-writing could take this from "good" to "great".
Congratulations for ranking 17 overall! Happy Dance!