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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Rich (04/26/12)
Ivor Lott, a self- made man
Lived by the premise “Yes, I can!”
Bars of iron and doors of steel
Could not withstand his forceful zeal

He lived his life believing he
Barred from heaven would never be
His riches were an obvious sign
That he and God were doing fine

He heard a rumour most absurd
But deep inside unease was stirred
A camel and a needle’s eye
His place in heaven could deny

Through the eye, a space so small
A camel couldn’t pass at all
Likewise those with piles of gold
Might not be let into God’s fold

He stomped around the house that night
Complaining loudly, “It’s not right!
He searched - there was no exit clause,
No loopholes or no hidden doors

Could this be just a writer’s ploy?
A clever phrase he should enjoy?
A proverb said to prick his heart
To scare him, from his money part?

The “eye” t’was said was just a gate
For those arriving really late
A camel down upon his knees
Through this gate could often squeeze

A wealthy man must bend the knee
Surrender up his storehouse key
But rich men seldom want to bow
It seems as if they don’t know how

With treasure safe in heaven’s store
Who could really ask for more?
But many sadly walk away
A move they will regret one day
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This article has been read 1026 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Nancy Bucca
05/03/12
I well enjoy this creative poem and the idea of the camel going through the needle's eye. The rythm is a little off in a couple places, but the message remains in tact. Good job with this.
C D Swanson 
05/05/12
Beautiful poem and right on topic. I love when Jesus spoke of the "Camel going through the eye of a needle" and this poem so clearly illustrates the entire meaning of Jesus'words in poetic fashion. Great job.

God Bless~

Terry Lee
05/05/12
Loved the name, Ivor Lott! Beautiful message and flow.
lynn gipson 
05/09/12
Wow, I can't wait to get to level four in a few years.lol I am a new writer but I know excellence when I see it! Excellent...I love it.
Graham Insley
05/09/12
A great poem with a great message.

You explain the eye of the needle very well and your picture of it becomes very clear.

If I have a negative it is that I stumbled a few times in reading; and I think it was because of rhythm mainly but could also be the odd word choice.

None the less, a great job and clear.
Janice Quimby
05/13/12
Very good poem. I'm not a poem writer and can't understand how someone could come up with a poem to fit the subject in a week so beautifully as you did.

Great job. You have a great skill in poem writing.