Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Download/Upload (11/17/11)
- TITLE: Selling It
By Melanie Kerr
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I have an offer to make – a real once in a life time opportunity. All I ask is that you just hear me out before you make a decision.
We all want to make our lives a little easier, right? I have just the thing. It doesn’t look much, but this gadget has the potential to change your life. It’s a smartphone! Smart? The word doesn’t even begin to describe this little baby.
Allow me to show you some of the “tapps”. The technical guys call them apps, but I prefer to call them tapps seeing as you tap the screen to open them up. The phone comes with the basic downloads – but I have tracked down a few others that I think will interest you and taken the liberty of downloading them for you.
Press the little lamb. This tapp is called “Not-Lost Sheep”. It is basically your hand held sat-nav, but the graphics are in 3D. Just punch in your destination…lets say “Jericho” and there you have it. That’s the route laid out for you. If you wanted to avoid Samaria, you can change the settings, see? How it works? There is someone up there, looking down on us all, who knows exactly where we are and can give us spot on instructions to where we need to get to. The default setting is on “Rebecca” but if you have a problem following instructions from a woman there are alternatives. Most people tend to go for “Moses”. Just watch out for the detours – he doesn’t always take you by a direct route.
Now this little tapp “Down the Demon” – this is really going to prove helpful. Just picture it, Jesus. You enter a town. Coming full speed down the road hurtling towards you, screaming, “I know who you are, Jesus, Son of God,” is your classic demon possessed man. It’s a bit intimidating. Just press this little demon here and…bingo. Everything you need to know about restraining people is at your finger tips. I happen to know that this tapp has the approval of the law. It’s totally non-violent. See here, Jesus – this picture shows you all the body’s pressure points. Just poke your finger hard on any of these spots and it cuts of the air supply. Poke the spot a second time to restore normal functions. In between pokes you can quietly cast out the demons. That could prove really useful in your line of business.
The last tapp I have downloaded is this one – but don’t you forget there are hundreds of tapps out there. Tapp the sandwich and you open up “Foraging for 5000”. We have all heard some version of the feeding of the five thousand, but just imagine how much more difficult it would have been without the loaves and the fishes. Do you realise just how much provision Mother Nature supplies? Berries and mushrooms, roots and shoots are just the tip of the iceberg. See this tapp? It tells you all about edible bugs and insects as well as helping you to avoid the poisonous things as well. Look at that little fellow – he packs in a whole lot of protein and there’s even a few easy to make recipes thrown in to give you a bit of variety.
Now, as if all that isn’t already a bit wonderful, this smartphone has one more trick up its sleeve. This phone is also a camera! OK it’s not 3D quality but it is high definition. You get really good quality pictures.
Say cheese! One click and there you are. If only there was a Facebook page somewhere you could upload that picture all the speculation from future generations about what you actually look like will be sorted in an instant!
The potential here is unlimited. You could take before and after pictures – a leper complete with lumps and bumps in one picture, and after you have done your stuff, the same man complete and whole in the next.
What do you say, Jesus?
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