The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
11/05/11
Catchy title--it made me read the article because I have 'geeky nerds' in my family. Your geeky personality is well done, very 'inside the head'. The use of the cue word (blog) was well utilized.

The danger, the warning signs,the vulnerability of the victims all of it; well done. Well written AND a good message.
This is an interesting read. The beginning was wonderful and the message one that is quite timely.

I did notice you wrote palled instead of paled. And it felt like there was more telling than showing.

But it was a great story andyou took it in a different direction than I thought you would.

Sorry about the palled. When I first read it, I think my eyes switched between 2 lines because I instantly got a mental picture of the MC getting pale. After rereading it I realized the blog no longer held his interest. I'm not sure why my eyes did that but I deeply apologize for seeing it incorrectly. Again there were many things about this piece that I really liked.
11/07/11
Great story, with a well written, believable scenario. Enjoyed!
11/07/11
I enjoyed this. I liked getting to know Barney. I liked that we went from learning he is a computer geek, to a good-for-nothing-slime-ball of a computer geek, to him coming around and finding people who showed him love.

Creative and nicely written.
11/09/11
Nice job - I enjoyed this...The story flowed nicely from beginning to end. God Bless~
11/14/11
At first it was all geek to me, but I like the way you drew in your MC with exposure to real people who could love him in Jesus' name. Very enjoyable read.
11/14/11
I could see this happening. Great story. Your title made me smile. :)
Great writing. Story was told very well. On topic for sure.
Congratulations for ranking 8th in your level and 14th overall!