The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
12/09/06
At first, I was thrown by how long it took for your story to "get back" to the subject of the first sentence, but as I thought over it, it was actually quite effective - kept my imagination going throughout, trying to figure out the tie-in. Great description and a wonderful storyline. I especially loved the second to last paragraph.
12/11/06
The tension I had felt making my way to the hospital began to lessen in the presence of an old man with glory in his eyes -- this line is one of my favorites. I love the description of the glory in his eyes. You do a good job in this piece of reminding us to look up to heaven. God's ways aren't our ways; they're better! Good work. Blessings, Cheri
12/12/06
Very lovely and touching. That line ("an old man with glory in his eyes") resonated with me, too. This was just wonderful.
12/12/06
This is beautifully written, just so real...very touching. I love the old man's joy.