The Official Writing Challenge
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At first, I was thrown by how long it took for your story to "get back" to the subject of the first sentence, but as I thought over it, it was actually quite effective - kept my imagination going throughout, trying to figure out the tie-in. Great description and a wonderful storyline. I especially loved the second to last paragraph.
The tension I had felt making my way to the hospital began to lessen in the presence of an old man with glory in his eyes -- this line is one of my favorites. I love the description of the glory in his eyes. You do a good job in this piece of reminding us to look up to heaven. God's ways aren't our ways; they're better! Good work. Blessings, Cheri
Very lovely and touching. That line ("an old man with glory in his eyes") resonated with me, too. This was just wonderful.
This is beautifully written, just so real...very touching. I love the old man's joy.