The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/19/06
Powerful image-making. Great work.
Chilling. Graphic. Believable. I've worked for people like this. You captured the spirit of mammon frightenly well. Excellent work!
05/22/06
This is a very powerful piece of writing. Great job. I personally would have preferred, though, leaving out the bit in the mirror. I thought you had done a masterful job of showing exactly what you wanted to get across just in your wonderful descritptions and phrasings. You did such a great job of setting all of the little nails on this piece, that I just felt the hammer was unnecessary. Other than that, I loved it!
05/22/06
You did a very good job painting a word picture of this empty man. I wish that we'd been able to get deeper into his spirit--to feel what he felt. I liked the bit in the mirror, quite a lot.
Your incredible skill as a writer drew me in. You can paint with you words. This is a talent few can master. You did a simply beautiful job writing this piece. great work!
The greedy demon gave me chills! Well developed throughout. My only little thing is that it seemed too contrived for the crucifix to end up in his hand...but maybe not. :-) Your point is well taken, and I liked the Proverbs verse: "“The blessing of the Lord makes one prosperous and He adds no sorrow to it.” Prov. 10:22