The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a sweet story. You did a nice job of showing Mary's feelings. Instead of using dialog tags like he declared or she exclaimed. Instead stick to traditional ones like he said or she asked. You can also use body language like she shrugged her shoulders to fill in those spaces. You did a fine job of writing on topic. You pulled me in and held my attention to the end.
If you'd like more feedback on your entry, go to FW group on Facebook and look for the post, Drop a Hint, or the forums and leave a hint about your title.
06/18/25
I love stories that make Bible characters and events come to life. You did a good job.