The Official Writing Challenge
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You've a great start to an interesting story. You definitely nailed the topic in a fun, fresh way. I'd love more details. I'm not sure of the setting or why the girls were arguing. You've selected some great Bible verses that really help deliver your message. I felt the ending was a bit sudden. It felt like you left the great storyline and drifted to almost a sermon without any transition. You could deliver the message through Simone's words or even with Jade's understanding it. You definitely have a clear, Christian message and I enjoyed it. It's still relevant in today's world.

Also, if you're part of the FW's group on Facebook and would like to receive more comments, go to the page and look for a post called Drop a Hint. You can leave a clue and others will hopefully see it and come read and comment on this interesting piece. If you're not a member of the group, you can join! Hope to see you there!